Thread: U-Beaut Basic Cooking for Woodworkers

There was a thread on recipes knocking around so we're not all against cooking.

Besides, many a bloke has won favour due to a well cooked meal.

Originally Posted by Honorary Bloke

1. Bill Granger is a famous (a) novelist (b) pirate (c) chef (d) politician.
2. Julia Child is best known as (a) a talk show hostess (b) a French chef (c) a spokesperson for Yellowtail Wines (d) your year three teacher.
3. A recipe says "pare the potatoes," do you (a) get two out of the bag (b) cut them in half (c) peel them (d) fix rice instead?
4. The sales clerk offers to show you a bread machine. Is it (a) a machine made of bread (b) a machine for making bread (c) a machine for making money (d) just the sales clerk's little joke?
5. Do you believe that "Chicken Sausages" (a) is an oxymoron (b) is a misprint (c) taste funny (d) all of the above?

Answers: 1. (c), 2. (b), 3. (c), 4. (b), 5. (d). Score 1 point for each correct

1. A Chef who needs to come out of the closet.
2. French Chef...a guess don't like much french cooking, am very partial to a bit of fois gras though.
3. Peel under tap or by intermittent dipping in water.
4. A machine for making bread and for making your house smell nice when you have an open house.
5. All of the above obviously

HH.

Originally Posted by Andy Mac

I don't know where this thread has come from, or where its going, but the idea of posting culinary questions to such a panel promises much merriment.
What I want to know, and it has been a bone of contention in our house for a long time, is how do you make a pizza to suit the following: one vegetarian, one lactose intolerant, one avoiding tomato sauce and two avoiding any semblence of flavouring (ie chillie)??
No prizes given, but eternal gratitude!

Cheers,

I would handle this by not asking if any guests had said preferences or intolerances. I would then make a pizza with as many meat toppings as I could cram on, cover it in mozzie cheese, onion, garlic and chilli and get it out there. Call my mein host!

If you don't like it you can have a slice of dry toast!

HH.

Here's a late night snack recipe:

Ingredients

• 1 tin John West Red Salmon (has to be John West and has to be Red)
• 1 small onion
• 1 jar of Heinz Salad Cream (You can use the lite version if you prefer)
• 1 bag of chips (Flavour up to you I prefer Chicken or Salt & Vinegar for this recipe)
• Cracked Black Pepper
• Malt Vinegar

Open tin of Salmon drain fluid and remove all the bones and other yukky bits. I keep these in tupperware for the MIL as for some reason she thinks these are the best bits.

Place firm chunks of salmon into a bowl (You will be eating directly from this bowl so choose wisely). Mash Salmon with side of fork and add a splash of malt vinegar and some cracked balck pepper to taste.

I'd suggest the steps so far be done in advance and salmon left in bowl covered with clingwrap in the fridge until ready to complete the recipe.

When ready to consume open the bag of chips and crush them into small pieces in the bag then add to the bowl. (Be careful to remove the clingwrap as you may end up on your hands and knees cleaning up tiny pieces of salt & vinegar chips)

Next finely chop the onion and add to bowl mixing with salmon and chips.

Finally add approx. 1/4 of the jar of salad cream, mix in and then add more in smaller amounts until you have a paste like consistency. Add more cracked pepper to taste, get a fork, sit down in front of TV and consume.

HH.

PANCAKES

Tonz

Whadaya callit HH?

Originally Posted by Cliff Rogers

Whadaya callit HH?

My Crunchy Salmon Paste.

It started when I started drinking in England at 16. I'd get home from the pub on a Sunday night with the munchies and there would always be left over salmon in the fridge prepared as described above. This would be left over from Sunday tea as we always had salmon sandwiches with a bag of crisps for tea on a Sunday.

I couldn't be bothered to butter two slices of bread so I'd cut out the middle man so to speak and combine it before it got to my stomach by adding the crisps and the salad cream and eating it from the bowl. The onion came later.

HH.

Cool thread.

An easy accompaniment for any meat dish is sliced potatoes layered with cheese and onion in a lidded ceramic pot then microwave for 10 mins. Simple and tasty.

I lova a good BBQ. Marinated steaks, Honey and soy chicken kebabs, potato chips cooked on the bbq, and some mystery bags if they take your fancy.

BTW Salad cream = mayonaise

Originally Posted by Doughboy

An easy accompaniment for any meat dish is sliced potatoes layered with cheese and onion in a lidded ceramic pot then microwave for 10 mins. Simple and tasty.

We do something similar by frying thinly sliced potato with cheese and garlic in a frying pan then put frying pan under grill to brown the top.

Originally Posted by Doughboy

BTW Salad cream = mayonaise

Afraid not it is totally different animal, in colour and taste. I'd be prepared to conceed it's similar to mayonaise but not the same.

HH.

It's certainly made from the same stuff:

"Salad cream is usually made from distilled vinegar, vegetable oil, water, sugar, mustard, salt, egg yolks, modified cornflour, xanthan gum and guar gum (as stabilizers), and riboflavin (for colouring)"

"Mayonnaise is a thick sauce made primarily from vegetable oil and egg yolks. Generally whitish-yellow in color, it is a stable emulsion formed from the oil and yolks and is generally flavored with salt, pepper, vinegar and/or lemon juice, and frequently mustard."

Originally Posted by HappyHammer

Here's a late night snack recipe:

Ingredients

• 1 tin John West Red Salmon (has to be John West and has to be Red)
• 1 small onion
• 1 jar of Heinz Salad Cream (You can use the lite version if you prefer)
• 1 bag of chips (Flavour up to you I prefer Chicken or Salt & Vinegar for this recipe)
• Cracked Black Pepper
• Malt Vinegar

SNIP

. Add more cracked pepper to taste, get a fork, sit down in front of TV and consume.

HH.

I thought this had been posted in the wrong forum ie "Woody Jokes" but realised you are serious. Great student food.

Originally Posted by silentC

It's certainly made from the same stuff:

"Salad cream is usually made from distilled vinegar, vegetable oil, water, sugar, mustard, salt, egg yolks, modified cornflour, xanthan gum and guar gum (as stabilizers), and riboflavin (for colouring)"

"Mayonnaise is a thick sauce made primarily from vegetable oil and egg yolks. Generally whitish-yellow in color, it is a stable emulsion formed from the oil and yolks and is generally flavored with salt, pepper, vinegar and/or lemon juice, and frequently mustard."

Maybe so but it tastes quite different. I like Salad Cream but do not like Mayonaise. SWMBO likes mayonaise but can't stand Salad Cream.

HH.

"Salad cream is usually made from distilled vinegar, vegetable oil, water, sugar, mustard, salt, egg yolks, modified cornflour, xanthan gum and guar gum (as stabilizers), and riboflavin (for colouring)"

"Mayonnaise is a thick sauce made primarily from vegetable oil and egg yolks. Generally whitish-yellow in color, it is a stable emulsion formed from the oil and yolks and is generally flavored with salt, pepper, vinegar and/or lemon juice, and frequently mustard."

Don't mistake the stuff you buy in the super market for mayonnaise. Most of them have too much sugar and really small amounts of egg in it if any.
Same goes for salad cream.

Making your own mayonnaise is simple.

• 2 egg yolks
• ¼ teaspoon of mustard
• 1 teaspoon of white wine vinegar
• 250 ml of olive oil (don't use extra virgin as it has quite a bit of flavour, unless you like that sort of thing)
• 2 teaspoons of hot water
• ½ teaspoon of lemon juice or to taste
• salt & pepper to taste

Whisk the yoke, mustard and vinegar until it thickens slightly. About 1 minute.
Slowly add the oil while whisking continually until all the oil is added and the mixture is of mayo consistency. Add the water and mix a bit more. Helps maintain the consistency. Flavour with lemon juice, salt and pepper. Chill before use.

Are we not getting into the realms of how long is a piece of string???

Salad cream or mayo

bearnaise or hollandaise