Thread: Exactly what can you stuff down your pants at a hardware store?

Wonder if the chainsaw blade had the cover on

He was lucky the cop that caught us when we were kids didn't catch him. We were fully loaded with slightly under ripe peaches when "Sarge" arrived on the scene.
"Whats happening boys?" "Oh we're picking peaches for Mr Orchard." (Yes, that really was his name.) "That's interesting, he's been in America for the past 6 weeks and isn't expected back for another two weeks. Why would he have you picking them now?" "Oh its just for a test pick." "Well right you are, I guess you had better sit down there in the shade and start testing."
I can assure you that after consuming in excess of a dozen under ripe peaches I had lost my taste for both peaches and larceny. The pain was unbelievable!
Police brutality? No, just a very good lesson.

Reminds me of when we went as kids for a holiday on an Orchard belonging to family friends. There was not enough room for us all to stay in the main house so a couple of us and some of the Orchard families kids slept in the pickers beds in the dimly lit packing shed where there were many crates full of recently picked stone fruits. We asked if we eat some of the fruit and they said go ahead. That night I lay in bed and ate myself silly and then spent the next few days sitting on the long drop for many hours. We never ate any after that.

He must of been pretty cut up about getting caught. Or he may be able to bar ter for a early release. Do you think his wife called him a 2 stroker?

I dunno, lately the thieves don't even bother to attempt to conceal the theft. They just brazenly walk into a Bottle'O or Sports Store and take what they like knowing full well that store staff are specifically instructed not to "engage" with the perpetrators.

Many years ago a mate owned a fishing tackle store and noted that a couple of keen young fishos seemed to be about each time some of his display stock of hard bodied lures walked. He confronted them one day and reckoned he was sorely tempted to give them both a 'wedgie' by grabbing the waist band of their shorts. He decided it was a better option to call their parents in, and have the boys unload their shorts. Both had a few lures, with unprotected treble hooks, stuffed into their jocks.

My local Bunnings loses over 2 million a year to theft and I don’t think that is unusual for them

4 foot Stabila levels down the tracksuit pants even dropsaws get pinched.

A few years ago the police officer that runs the WA police auctions called us at the mens shed and said were offering mens shed to come and help themselves to stolen tools before their next auction. A couple of us went in and our jaws dropped when we just saw the pile of power tools. Literally a cone shaped pile about 5ft high and 10 ft across mostly used stuff out of sheds and the backs of tradies utes . There were a few brand new ones apparently stolen direct from hardware stores, some in boxes with batteries and chargers! Well we managed to stock up on power tools and batteries for the next decade. Some of the batteries have since died but there's plenty more where they came from. I was gobsmacked at the volume of other stuff too including the fleet of Harleys confiscated from a local bikies mob. They were going to be destroyed because no one would buy them.