Thread: Another bloke on the scene

Crap, just saw this thread. Hate it when couples break up, but sometimes it was meant to be.

Been there twice (although totally different situations) and can offer advise or just an ear if need be. Welcome to call in anytime (details in public profile if you have lost them).

Cheers

Bugger Ross.
My ex had her new boyfriend sleeping over within two days and he was living there within three weeks.

It does get better and eventually, if you allow yourself to, you do move on.

The depression is a real bastard. Get a doctor involved. The modern antidepressants are very good and do help but bear in mind that they're only helping you cope by cutting the tops off the symptoms - you can still get deeply depressed while on the things. Exercise works and works well as a management tool. Give yourself a small goal in life (such as my Little Black Dog , the boat's name being a dig at the disease with the diminutive an intentional note of contempt) but don't invest too much in the success of the project, the aim is to give you a task and an interest.

The kids are the hard one. Just keep being a good and involved Dad. Don't get too strung up about some other bloke playing 'daddy' - if he's good at it, just be pleased for your kids. You'll never lose your kids, no matter what the cow tries. Just be there for them and be with them and enjoy the peace and quiet when you're on your own (THAT is a hard trick).

Life does move on though. I've done it twice (needed the practice ). It's been nearly six years since the last one, my kids are fine, I'm a manageable mess and am slowly building a life with a lovely woman (we plan to marry when the older kids on both sides move out).

There's no real path to success because not only are everyone's circumstances different, so too are the way different people react to different things. The main points are exercise, as little booze as you can mange, taking life one step at a time, even if they're small steps and being gentle with yourself. Talking about it helps too but so is just going around to a mate's place to talk woodies stuff.

Richard

Wot Richard said.

Anti-depressants buy you some time to get back on your feet. They're not a long-term solution and coming off them can be a v. unpleasant experience.

You should be acknowledging and respecting your feelings (rage, sadness, and anxiety about the future?) and talking about them with someone you trust will take some of the disabling force out of them.

All the best.

Heart felt support & friendship goes to all who suffer "grief"... loss of partnership ... way of life.... family .... kids... husbands... wife.... IF WE LOSE WHAT WE CHERISHED WE GRIEVE.....

Lost hubby 4 years ago now... & still grieve deeply, feel my life will never recover... our love was one of those amazing gifts we had a "golden marriage"... we were soul-mates...
Each day is a battle to go on... to act normal so the rest of society THINK your OK...
My heart is shattered my life is torn apart... my nights are a living nightmare.... my only solace is working in woodshed... & living in memories....
As much as I grieve for my loss....I'm saddened because there isn't someone else.... I'm too afraid to actively look & terrified of getting hurt again... I know death isn't rejection... but the loss was/is so hard to endure I never want to experience that again... so Im set to make sawdust alone for quite sometime...
... lots of us live in hope... some of us live in despair... I just live... from day to day... & woodwork is my way of coping.... it soothes my soul...

.... thinking of you my friend.... sincerely believe woodworkers are very kind hearted ... caring & sharing creative souls who make this world a better place...
....its amazing what wood can do for us... experience the true feeling of wood....... it transfers from "sawdust to soul-food"........

Cheers KEKEMO