Thread: Depression

Every cloud has a silver lining.

Sometimes only seen in retrospect, when you see the meaning in the suffering.

That's great to hear Bob. Merry Christmas mate.

I hope everyone who has been suffering from depression (particularly Glenrob who seems to have been doing it harder than most) has the best Christmas they can and that the new year brings renewed hope and health.

Best wishes,
Safari

Safari, just wanted to say thanks for that Christmas wish that you posted.!!!
Usually for me its the trigger that puts me into a downward spiral that takes weeks to come out of. Well this year....I have been good and actually enjoyed the whole process.( The hustle and bustle in the lead up then the compulsory visits to family).
This year I downloaded onto the computer a couple of albums of various singers singing carols. So everytime I am on the computer the music quietly surrounds me and it worked a treat.
Today we are going up to my Brother's for the day (he is 70 miles away). Thankfully it is wet and cool. But up at his place it will be COLD. Armidale is like that. its about 2000' higher than here.

And for Glenrob...I hope you are OK mate.(just wish I was closer to you just to have a chin wag over a coffee/beer)

Originally Posted by chambezio

Safari, just wanted to say thanks for that Christmas wish that you posted.!!!
Usually for me its the trigger that puts me into a downward spiral that takes weeks to come out of. Well this year....I have been good and actually enjoyed the whole process.( The hustle and bustle in the lead up then the compulsory visits to family).
This year I downloaded onto the computer a couple of albums of various singers singing carols. So everytime I am on the computer the music quietly surrounds me and it worked a treat.
Today we are going up to my Brother's for the day (he is 70 miles away). Thankfully it is wet and cool. But up at his place it will be COLD. Armidale is like that. its about 2000' higher than here.

And for Glenrob...I hope you are OK mate.(just wish I was closer to you just to have a chin wag over a coffee/beer)

Thank you guys.

A Very Happy and Prosperous New Year to everyone.

Christmas Day was a success for me as I was able to have all of my family (especially my two children and their own beautiful daughters.)

Just for a bit of background info on my situation here on my (our) property where my wife and I are supposed to retire to.

My wife has not been one of my greatest supporters in my Depression, consequently I see very little of her as she has decided to continue working and continues to live at our place in the Sutherland Shire.

Years ago during a meeting with our financial planner when we were arranging my retirement's financial future, she gave us every indication that she would be retiring after the next financial year. Now, four years down the track, she is still working with no mention of when (or if) she will retire and join me down here in OUR retirement home that I am struggling with every day to complete to HER satisfaction.

Forward to December this year.....the 3rd of which was our 36th wedding anniversary. I called her to ask what she would like to do or where she would like to go for "our Day". Her response was "don't worry about it, it's just another anniversary!
I had even proposed that we do a vow renewal, but she shot that idea down in flames.
As she was on 2 week's holidays at the time, she said she'd come down the week after and spend "a day" with me. I told her that we could go out and have a nice dinner together then instead.
It never happened.

Then when I later mentioned that as we had agreed last year to have Christmas here on 'the farm' with plenty of room for the kids and the 3 dogs as opposed to everyone being cramped into a house, her reply was "but the kitchen table there is dirty!"

I could go on, but I just wanted to give you all a glimpse into the place in my head where I am forced to live.

This is the last I will post about my condition/situation unless someone particularly wants to talk about something in particular or would like my opinion on Depression.
While I don't quantify myself as an expert on this disease that continues to ruin and disrupt so many of our lives, I do consider myself an expert sufferer and if only by talking about it I can help just one person the way all of you have helped me, then I will do whatever I can to return the favour.

So again I thank you one and all and I wish you all the very best for this another New Year.
As I once heard....." tomorrow is the first day in the rest of your life".

Kindest Regards,

Bob

Well, your missus's choices would've disappointed me too.

I'll make another comment of a general nature; I don't know your wife or circumstances so it may not be relevant to you.

When I was depressed my GP said that it can be 'catching'.

Someone living with you over the long term may run out of energy and defences in responding to your matter. So if they step back from your life together it may be regarded as sensible behaviour that is self-protective.

This may not be all that helpful to you. It's words when it's feelings that rule.

Originally Posted by rsser

Well, your missus's choices would've disappointed me too.

I'll make another comment of a general nature; I don't know your wife or circumstances so it may not be relevant to you.

When I was depressed my GP said that it can be 'catching'.

Someone living with you over the long term may run out of energy and defences in responding to your matter. So if they step back from your life together it may be regarded as sensible behaviour that is self-protective.

This may not be all that helpful to you. It's words when it's feelings that rule.

Would have to agree with that. While my story differs greatly from Glenrob's, there may be distinct situational similarities when considering rsser's post.

Mid last year one of my brothers tried to take his own life. During his subsequent stay in a mental health facility, I insisted that on his release he come and live with us. Over a four-plus month period he underwent intense counselling (in which I was a participant) and was diagnosed as Bi-polar early on in the piece. Since then, and unfortunately, he has made very little effort to help himself and it eventually became too much for me. In short... we kicked his sorry butt out and he is now staying with our parents (at this minute he's back in hospital receiving a course of electro-shock therapy).

Anyway, his story is basically one of life-long undiagnosed mental health issues, at times extreme self-centredness, unbelievable laziness and all coupled with alcohol & marijuana abuse. His problems have most definitely become infectious and are unbearable on top of my own. Not at all happy it turned out that way, but it is now easier for me to try and help him sort his life out whilst not living in the same space.

I appreciate what I have written may come across as cruel and selfish, but I suffer from some debilitating chronic syndromes and conditions (including mild depression) and just couldn't put up with any more of his crap.

Craig, don't beat yourself up over not being able to cope with your brother.
In his defence, the depression just sucks the life out of you, you will trip over your own shadow before you will do something to help yourself. Its bloody HARD on oneself but also others around you. Thankfully my family coped with my low times (my wife has depression too). When I had to put our old dog down, I apologised to him for the times that I didn't throw a tennis ball for because...I couldn't be bothered.
Many times I knew I should do something but its easier to do nothing.

Thankfully after a major nosedive 2 years ago, with a different medication I am not too bad and was able to cope at Christmas time. Don't get me wrong I am by no means "cured" but I am functioning reasonably well. This Forum has been a wonderful fountain of information and support for me and I am sure I wouldn't be where I am if the guys hadn't helped me. And not face to face just contact using the computer. The heat at the moment makes me not do too much in the day. Also my SIL suggested I drink less coffee. (I was drinking around 6 cups of instant a day) She read somewhere that 2 coffees a days should be a limit. So I have dropped to 1 a day. Can't say for certain if it worked but since November I had dropped back and have been OK.

I have no answers but I do know first hand how insidious the desease is

Not totally on topic but about the coffee, change to fresh ground and brewed and you will feel even better

You dont really want to know whats in the instant coffee do you? It has more to answer for than meets the eye

My 2 cents worth is that those with chronic depression are not comfy feeling what they're feeling.

And often take stuff to regulate those feelings.

Caffeine, alcohol, nicotine ... available without prescription. And indeed have quite an effect; sometimes disastrous.

And then there's the illicit drugs that offer a lot in the short term. Longer term can be another disaster. Ditto for licit drugs.

To add to the 2 cents: if you're still kind-of functioning, find a decent counsellor to help you set a bearing for your next day, week etc. It'll be the best investment you'll ever make.

K. Preaching over. Time to cook.

I appreciate your comments Rod, but my brother doesn't need defending.

I am unable to work due to my own problems and although my partner has gone back to work, we struggle to financially support our little family (girl 7, boy nearly 5). My efforts to help him get back on his feet were appreciated by him to some extent, however, he managed to get himself working full-time again in order to secretly buy grog aswell as other small luxuries, and can also get himself up and about to do tasks that directly benefit himself in a material manner in the short term, but with no life responsibilities (other than a mountain of unpaid debts which he chooses to ignore) he is void of consideration for those that have and are trying to help him.

As I mentioned, I also have mild depression (I assure you it's not just the blue's) amongst my many ailments. Not being able to support your family does wonderful things to your head. At the same time, I guess I'm just fortunate I have dependants that cause me to pull my finger out when and as required.

Severe depression he most definitely has, I acknowledge that and completely understand the intricacies of it via open mindedness and talking to many experts on the subject. It would take hours to write his and my complete stories, but anyone that knows him well enough couldn't deny he is currently taking advantage of others, and as in my initial post (in response to rsser's), his misery became and continues to be infectious.

Originally Posted by rwbuild

Not totally on topic but about the coffee, change to fresh ground and brewed and you will feel even better

You dont really want to know whats in the instant coffee do you? It has more to answer for than meets the eye

Even go one better and start the day with what they call a Bulletproof Coffee, i have everyday for the last 5 months and i couldnt imagine a morning without one. They have gone past the "Fad" stage and now accepted around the world and heaps of capitol city coffee shops and restaurants selling them.

Base recipe-
2 strong shots quality espresso
30ml MCT oil (or coconut oil) MCT is better as its stronger and tasteless, but more exy.
1 tbs Grass fed butter (Kiwi Westgold or Danish Harmony)

Optional extras that i include-
1 Level tsp quality Cocoa powder
3 drops vanilla extract
1 sm scoop Stevia.

Put in a blender for 3 minutes on high so it is rich, creamy and frothy and into a big mug and enjoy. Coffee and MCT gives instant brain buzz and energy and the butter gives lasting energy and satiety for up to 4 hours.

The mind brews up enough 'drugs' of its own.

I appreciate that ingesting some substances under expert guidance has helped peeps with depression but this just provides a space for other more important things to take place.

Let's get back on topic folks please.

Originally Posted by rsser

The mind brews up enough 'drugs' of its own.

I appreciate that ingesting some substances under expert guidance has helped peeps with depression but this just provides a space for other more important things to take place.

Let's get back on topic folks please.

Back on topic? As it happens im a full time carer for someone who has amongst other things depression. Four weeks after I started BP coffee I started this person on a morning cup and the difference after 2 days was immediately noticeable. Actually it was incredible.

Obviously it didn’t cure, but the main noticeable effect was to all but eliminate morning brain fog, and also injected some life, activity and enthusiasm into the first half of the day for someone who was constantly sleeping/dosing in an armchair whilst eating breakfast (then spilling it) reading the papers or watching TV, to now alert, never dozing, and wanting to be a little more active. It has basically changed how most days are lived (for both of us)

The difference is profound. Is it coincidence? Who knows, but this doesn’t appear to be an isolated case. When reading various other food/nutrition based forums it often comes up some sufferers of various forms of depression benefit greatly from being in a mild form of ketosis. Obviously 1 cup of BP coffee a day wont achieve that, but a continual daily dose of MCT in my case (the person im caring for) is having a similar but milder effect.