Thread: Introversion.

Another one here. I hate crowds and the general hussle and bussle of surburbia.

My mates are from my cycling days and that was 30+ years ago. I have friends outside of these but I don't class them as mates.

It can be a curse being like this as I don't easily ask for help on anything.

Foo

I am a Major Depression sufferer for more than 20 years. I hate/ can't cope well in crowds. One on one that's fine. Put me into a party atmosphere....dread it. i have been a member of clubs and church but has steered away from all types of public things. but i did go the Wood Work Show in Brisbane and (to my amazement too) spent sometime on the Forum stand chatting to strangers. I can cope some times but more often take the exit. Its a weird thing. If I am at somewhere to do a job I am fine but if its a social thing ....pannick. Yeh I know I am weird.....but I am mentally ill

You could be an 'Aspy'. There is no 'cure', its just the way you are. Once you realize that's how your brain is wired from birth, its more a matter of accommodating other peoples reactions to you rather than your own behaviour. Be yourself!

I can really identify with some of the issues above especially in regards large social situations. Its probably why one of the reasons I generally don't like crowds, like at the woodshow.

One of the most difficult things I had to do when I was teaching was to continually encourage introverted students (lots of them in the sciences) to operate in a more extrovert way - we were supposed to teach and assess cooperative learning and teamwork etc and I felt a bit of a fake doing this as I am poor at this myself. Many introverted students take on science because of an image that scientists are able to be lone operators, working in isolation in a back room somewhere, which is pretty rare these days. Then when the introverted types find out there is a lot of collaborative work involved they often change courses.

I ended up being honest with the most introverted students by taking them aside and explaining ; "you are what you are, but you do need to be able to function in the real world which for whatever reason favours extroverts" Most extroverted teachers couldn't or wouldn't understand and some would ridicule these students which contributed to all sorts of probs down the track.

What is really weird is that I don't feel quite so bad about crowds in some countries/places compared to others. Mostly I don't like crowds like at the footy or cricket (I haven't been for years) but somehow those in Japan and China even in high stress situations like sardine packed railway stations and trains, don't really bother me, whereas places like Heath Row gives me the out and out heebie jeebies

Meanwhile have a look at this
Susan Cain: The power of introverts | Video on TED.com
It takes a while to build up to the main point but should resonate with introverts.

Interesting discussion! I find myself switching from one end of the spectrum to the other. I don't mind crowds as such, although I refuse to queue! That's just impatience My work in the past 20 odd years means I'm in front of people, either in a classroom/teaching workshop situation, but the first few sessions with a new group would bring out the sweats... although after everyone is familiar I'm OK. Small talk in a social situation, going to an event or party where I know very few people and I'm bloody pathetic. Circulate with a drink in my hand and avoid everyone! But lately my work involves talking to large numbers of people, like bus tours, and I'm starting to find my feet.
As for my out-of-work habits, I'm becoming a recluse. Single for 5 yrs, kids every second weekend, I find I can go for a whole weekend and talk to no-one from when I get home on Friday 'till going to work on Monday. Just hang out at home enjoying my own company, and don't miss socialising. Introverted or simply a hermit?

Cheers

So, is being an introvert bad? I obviously don't think it is. I knew I was an introvert well before the shrink told me I was. I actually thrive on being on my own and can't understand why this can be misunderstood.

Originally Posted by Andy Mac

Introverted or simply a hermit?

Introverted.

Try this out:

Personality test based on C. Jung and I. Briggs Myers type theory

You'll have to scroll down a bit and there's around 70 odd questions. Interesting what it throws up though.

Originally Posted by Scott

So, is being an introvert bad? I obviously don't think it is. I knew I was an introvert well before the shrink told me I was. I actually thrive on being on my own and can't understand why this can be misunderstood.

I don't believe so ?

Foo

Originally Posted by Foo

I don't believe so ?

My partner struggles with the notion.

Yeah I guess my wife does to but that's me and I have tried to change but it just doesn't work for me.

Foo

Originally Posted by Foo

Yeah I guess my wife does to but that's me and I have tried to change but it just doesn't work for me.

Why should you change?

Originally Posted by Scott

Why should you change?

Well if it was going to benefit me in my personal life as in work or out look, then it was worth a go.

I am very confident in my abilities as far as capabilities go and sport but I probably don't push my case hard enough.

Foo

I guess i am a bit of a introvert but i am not going to change my ways because it is socially unacceptable. Who makes the rules? The bloody extroverts. I don't want to try and pretend i am someone i am not, if they don't like it, they can lump it. It seems like society today is very shallow and it's all about appearances. Don't get depressed, get angry.

In some professions, you are "on show" all the time so that at other times you appreciate some quiet time and are not necessarily being anti-social.