Thread: stresed - not sleeping

Originally Posted by weisyboy

i ahve been having great trouble sleeping of late my body is worn out but my mind wont stop.

i am becoming increasingly iritable and go off at people for nothing without even meaning to.

i cant settle at anything for long i get distracted and feel uninterested.

i have been having great trouble with work witch seem to be the cause.
Dealing with fussy customers that are never happy no matter how good the job is you can only go back and redo sompthing a certain number of times when you stop making any money outof the job.

customers never let me be, they call friday nights, all weekend and expect me to drop everything and do sompthing for them.

everytime i seem to be saving up a bit of money sompthing breaks and i have to fix it. bills never stop its the only mail i get.

when you work for yourself the bosses wories dont go away a knockof time.

what do you other self employed people do when thing get u down?

Weisy

Sounds like some good practical advice here.

But also see a doctor. What you describe sounds to me to be classic reactions/symptoms of depression and you may need to address that too with the help of your medico.

Good luck

Originally Posted by Cliff Rogers

How much coffee/coke/caffeine drinks are you drinking?

It doesn't happen to everybody & it changes as you get older.

I used to drink about 17 cups a day when I was in my early 20s without a problem
Now I can't drink more than 4 & none after 3pm without having problems getting to sleep before midnight.

Tea with caffeine in it also causes me problems now.
I had 3 cups yesterday arvo & I was still wide awake at 1am this morning.

Good call. Nicotine is also a stimulant, so if you smoke try cutting out the last couple before bed

G'day Carl,

There's lot's of good advice here. I can also add that some drops of lavender oil on a hankie by your pillow is also calming.
Are you also waking early at 2-3am? That is also a symptom of depression. I would recommend you also have a look at this ANU website and at least do some of the initial tests, that will give you a guide as to how your fair with stress and depression indicies. Probably a good idea to pop along to a professional health carer if it flags you at risk.

A word of caution should you wander along to see a GP and the subject of medication comes up. Ask them about potential side effects from the drug and very importantly, potential withdrawal side effects known for the drug. If they are unable, unwilling or don't know about these side effects, thank them and move on until you find a GP who is better informed about these medications.
These drugs are just like dogs. Some will be friendly and being with them will be a nice experience, some will be unfriendly and won't even let you in the yard (drugs with side effects). But some dogs will let you in the yard, but won't let you leave (drugs that do what they are supposed to do but when you try and get off them, there can be pretty awful side effects (this is not necessarily addiction)). People are different too, and you will possibly have a different reaction profile to the medications from the guy standing next to you. But certain trends become evident and certain names of drugs come up time and time again as having problems. Do a bit of research if you go down that path, forewarned is forearmed.
I am currently trying to get off a particular medication that was good while I was on it, but now I want out, it is giving me hell and has been for months. I really should have done my homework better in the first place, and with my background in medicinal chemistry, I am quite ashamed I did not.

Cheers
Michael

i dont drink coffee or cafine filled drinks nor am i stupd enough to smoke.

i will be from now on writing into all quotes/contracts that the work will be done as quoted and any changes made to the job after starting a fee will be charged to requote/change materials. i will be writing up a information sheet on teh diferent types of materials and the good bad points of each.

hopefully this will let me relax and not worrie about the customer changing there mind as i am coverd money wise. witch seams to be my biggest problem.

most people that i have troule with are ones that change there mind half way threw or want sompthign added after im finished.

also i will start to collect photos of compleated job with diferent materials.

Originally Posted by Burnsy

Carl, in regard to customers expecting more than the materials can deliver, make up a scrap book of past jobs with very clear photos of finished product including close ups of some of the shortfalls of each product. For example when I was landscaping I kept an album of all the different types of pavers I had laid and the finish each gives, natural and reconstituted limestone block retaining walls showing how natural limestone frets and goes grows algae if wet all winter. Also kept a lot of pictures of water features detailing the different types of liners available and the finish that could be expected.

I then used this album to make it very clear to customers at the beginning what type of finish they could expect with the money they were spending and materials they were using. During this discussion I would point out the shortfalls of each different option including cost and make it very clear to the customer that the materials they opted for intimately dictated the end cost and final finish. Quite a few people at this stage choose to spend a little more to get the better finish, others with make the comment that the picture I showed was a good enough finish for them.

Another benefit of the album is once people have seen what you can do and you have treated them professionally they want you to do it. Many came asking me to price match, none ever got me too and most had me do the job for a substantial premium over cowboy competitors.

Did have one clown once that wanted a Mercedes for a Daewoo price and ultimately ended up at the tribunal over it were the magistrate told him that he was a liar as he believed that I had shown him the photos at the beginning and he new what he was getting.

Another good idea is to find something active that you enjoy and do it once a week. Something that takes total concentration, it allows your head to reset. Most fast team sports are good, I use to go water skiing as it has the added benefit of pulling all the knots out of your shoulders.

Carl, lots of good advice on here and Burnsys' reply stands out for me.

When i was in the workforce (Boilermaker ) we wanted a deck built at the back of the house, 14m x 3m. I was working 6 days a week.
Got three people to come and quote, the one who won the job hands down was the one with the album. Pictures and sketches of what he could and would do.
No time frame was given or asked apart from he said when the timber gets delivered is when i start and when i finish is when its done.
I was more than happy with the job i got, yeh it cost a bit more but i never had a problem with it and he did what he'd said he would do.

Cheers Fred

Originally Posted by hitch

Weisy

Sounds like some good practical advice here.

But also see a doctor. What you describe sounds to me to be classic reactions/symptoms of depression and you may need to address that too with the help of your medico.

Good luck

I did not want to mention this, and although the symptoms do match I actually think that Weisy has an overactive mind. Too many projects and too little time. Lies in bed working out the next day and calculating the costs. That's why the pad and pencil might help. Weisy hasn't actually said he can't face getting up in the morning and can't see the point etc. Quite the opposite, I think he is on hyperdrive.

thats it prozac.

i lye there thinking about whats gotta happen tomorow what i gotta organise. things i wana do and if all is sorted tehn i come up with ides and plans for things im neva gunna make.

Carl,
I am 54 and have been on antidepressants for about 18 years! I was a Cabinet Maker Foreman working in the manufacture of Kitchens and the like.I was on wages. At the peak of my "caree" I was responsible for 12 blokes on the floor, ordering materials, liasing with clients for instalations, after sales call backs as well as showroom duty when needed.
The boss would "dump" you with a problem and leave you to sort it out then more often than not whinge about the way I would sort it out! Eight years I put up with it, not realising what it was doing to me.I can relate to you and your snappyness etc. I ended up going to the Docs who eventually sent me to a Psychicitrist and put me on the antidepressants. These did seem to work to a point but I have found out, in recent years, I am predisposed to depression and will be on the damn tablets for the rest of my life.
What the condition has done is taken away the enjoyment of things I used to love to do,To go and try to do these activities is such a pain that I don't do much at all. I have a shed full of tools and quite a lot of ideas of things I think I want to do, BUT I can't be bothered and that bothers me.
What I am basically saying is ....get professional help NOW to break the seemingly never ending dreery cycle.Even if it means getting on some tablets for say 6 months(it could take them that long to fix you up) and seehow you go.
Its an awful awful place to be! I know! All the other suggestions from the other contributors are good but don't dicount the medication too quickly. I am sure I would be in a screaming heap without them.
PS I have left the trade and not working full time because of the depression

All the very best to you Rod Chambers

And I agree with Prozac. By all means see a GP and he/she may give sleep inducing pills which you will not want to "stay on" too long - they can be habit forming.
I'd steer clear of fast forwarding to the depressive state. I, too, have been on a handful of pills for breakfast for years and will live with them for the rest of my life. The mood altering pills are as many as six eaxh day if I want to take them.
My major mental discomfort is due to warlike trauma, and many things can set me dancing with the fairies - weisyboy, I'm not medically trained, but I am a sufferer, and I don't think you need this sort of treatment for the symptoms you've described.

soth

Try the pad and pencil Carl before you go to bed. Get everything out of your head & onto the pad. Then tell yourself you don't have to worry about forgetting anything because it's on hard copy and will still be there in the morning. Now go and get some root vegies in for the cooler months.

Originally Posted by prozac

Try the pad and pencil Carl before you go to bed. Get everything out of your head & onto the pad. ....

Good tip, you could even take the pad to bed & add to it if you suddenly remember something else.

Not a good position to be in Carl but you have been given lots of very sound advice here.

You ought to consult a doctor and see if you can be referred to a reputable Psychologist if the Dr. thinks this is appropriate.

One thing I would counsel against is the taking of medication. I was on Stilnox for a while but was getting strange feelings of unease so I knocked off. Glad I did because it has since been reported to have some bad side effects such as causing sleepwalking.
Was also given some Tegratol, I think When in hospital for the bypass surgery.It was like trying to sleep in roomful of cicadas because it played up with my auditory processes.

i dont do drugs. i dotn even like taking panadol.

i cant wait for each day to start i love my job and the fact that i decide if i wanna take a day off and do some woodwork or have a long lunch.

i just get stressed att iems when things aint going right. witch seams to be fairly often. most of teh time i worie for no reason but thats jsut the way i am.

i have got a notepad and will try that.

thanks for all teh advice.

Originally Posted by weisyboy

...
i cant wait for each day to start i love my job and the fact that i decide if i wanna take a day off and do some woodwork or have a long lunch.

i just get stressed att iems when things aint going right. witch seams to be fairly often. most of teh time i worie for no reason but thats jsut the way i am.

......

Carl, I thought you were describing me there for a second. I, too, love my job, but I know I care way too much about things and start to take on board the issues that pull me down and get me stressed. I keep reminding myself, not to take things personally, that it's ok for me to care about doing my job to the best of my ability, but it's not ok for me to care so much that I can't sleep or eat. I can only do what is physically/mentally possible for me and that, now, is good enough for me.

I, too, can get very stressed very quickly when things don't go right, but I've had to learn the hard way to roll with it a bit more than I do, to say it does matter, but not that much and to stop kicking myself for having the world's greatest hindsight

So how do you 'roll with it' and stop your self from 'over-caring', over-stressing etc? One step at a time, one second at a time, each instance as it happens.

Part of it is recognising and naming what I feel when a situation happens that causes me to stress or lose sleep or whatever. Identify the feelings, identify the something that causes them to happen in me and then one by one, consciously decide on whether I'm going to let it get to me or not and what I can do about it.

I've found this to be extremely helpful. Maybe it will for you....

Good luck!

Wendy