Thread: I'm signing off

I never leave forums - I always make em kick me out!

Welcome back Bob!
I can imagine that you feel alone in your struggle - sadly all of us who suffer with this bloody condition think that at times.
Here are some statistics for you (that you may already know - just to remind you): one in six adults suffer clinical depressions (not reactive depression as a result of an actual loss) at least once in the lives. Only half ever seek help. THis forum has 81,153 Members, Currently Active 10,454. That means you and I are members of a potential support community of around 1742 people! So 871 active members KNOW they have our condition AND have sought or are getting help (soimetime in their lives). What a hell of a resource!
Now, are you really surprised at the amount of encouragement you got not to turn your back?

Many of us are in the age group where "grown men don't cry" translated to : men don't complain about emotional hardship. We have to get better at letting our friends know that something is wrong and use them as supports. I actually think the slightly more distant medium of forums is a good thing for that - to start with. Ultimately, we do need professionals for both biochemical intervention (medication) and counselling to make biochemical changes 'stick'. But often that is a bigger step in the - by then - diminished decision-making process.

Also, don't know if you know that (other than from your own experience): chronic pain almost INVARIABLY leads to depression. The same biochemicals are involved in coping with pain and stress. So both chronic pain and depression management have to go hand in hand. Many people fall into the trap of thinking that their affect/mood will get better by itself "once the pain is gone". But, the pain may never "go" (but you lear to live with it) but your depression won't go by itself in either case! We DO HAVE TO address both.... WAITING is not an option.
Feel free to contact me privately.

......and my usual time for getting up in the morning. It's cold and windy outside. Inside (me), the pain continues as always and the depression rallies on ever present.
After a few cuppas, I am going back to bed.....standard procedure these days. I really wish I could go to my shed and make myself happier and useful.
I will explain myself further and in deeper detail later.

Thanks,
Bob

hey bob, it can be a vicious cycle, hope you can find some way to break it. Are you coming to the T&WWW show in Canbera. There is no end to amount of information on depression out there and differing views. If you would like some other information at all I'd be happy to send you some stuff

Bob firstly thanks for not leaving this forum, secondly please go and spend some time in the shed, the shed is your friend.

Bye .... and welcome back

you can stay on the forum forever, evenif you just lurk but participation is better.

and I agree go out to the shed, even if you just sit at the bench and have a cuppa. I always feel better after a little bit of procrastination or deep thought time

Originally Posted by Sawdust Maker

Bye .... and welcome back

you can stay on the forum forever, evenif you just lurk but participation is better.

and I agree go out to the shed, even if you just sit at the bench and have a cuppa. I always feel better after a little bit of procrastination or deep thought time

I do exactly that, go out and look at the placement of all of my machines etc and try figure out how i can do it better or what i need to build next. Next thing i know many hours have past

Originally Posted by DaveTTC

hey bob, it can be a vicious cycle, hope you can find some way to break it. Are you coming to the T&WWW show in Canbera. There is no end to amount of information on depression out there and differing views. If you would like some other information at all I'd be happy to send you some stuff

Dave,
Thanks for the offer, but I've been to every specialist, every self help group, every on line Depression site (Men's Shed inclusive), the only place I found that was manned by people who REALLY listened is called "Dads in Distress" who are based in Coffs Harbour. Great guys and very friendly and helpful.

" one in six adults suffer clinical depressions (not reactive depression as a result of an actual loss) at least once in the lives."........ I lost both my Grandparents over the space of a few years. They were the most loved people in my entire life.
Then to have my mother tell me, after my father died a few years ago, that he hated me during the whole time they were together, has just about destroyed me altogether. I knew we didn't get on while he was at home, but towards the end I had reconciled with him and was the last person in our family to visit him before he had a small stroke. To go from being to one to wipe his backside after using a bedpan at home, to standing in his room at hospital and having him look me in the face and say that he didn't know who I was!
Enough said now thanks. I can't handle anymore.

Everyone else is right tho....just getting out into my shed is a big help. It's just getting the strength to make the move that's the hardest part.
I've started a project just to keep my moving, out of the house and into my shed. I've posted in the router forum about building 2 router tables. The first is slightly different from the norm. I posted a pic of the design I'm basing it on. This is while I'm waiting for the Incra Positioner to arrive.

Thank You one and all,
Bob

G'Day Bob,
I can vouch for the health benefits of the shed; it helps the heart, hands and head all at once.....
Plus the blokes & ladies of this forum, IMHO are just great when it comes to support and encouragement.
Life's good and I want to enjoy each new day.
Cheers crowie

hope you can make it down to Canberra some how for the wood working show. I should be there all 3 days and you'll prob catch me at he forum lounge if you wanna catch up.

If you want to help love the help.

Something I learned a long time ago is nothing effects people the same. The difference between emotional pain and physical pain - with physical pain and physical scars people can often see why you are in pain where you are scarred etc. Emotional pain is so different and emotional scars cannot be readily seen, they may be discerned by the astute. Keeping busy is a great thing for depression. It is when you stop that it can be hard.

Originally Posted by DaveTTC

hope you can make it down to Canberra some how for the wood working show. I should be there all 3 days and you'll prob catch me at he forum lounge if you wanna catch up.

If you want to help love the help.

Something I learned a long time ago is nothing effects people the same. The difference between emotional pain and physical pain - with physical pain and physical scars people can often see why you are in pain where you are scarred etc. Emotional pain is so different and emotional scars cannot be readily seen, they may be discerned by the astute. Keeping busy is a great thing for depression. It is when you stop that it can be hard.

Dave,

I'd given serious consideration to going to the Canberra show even though I've already been to the Sydney one with my son and his family. It was great to have them along, but there's just no way to take it all in when you have to please others as well.
The only other thing holding me back is my dog. Even though he loves riding in the car I'd have to go outside often and let him do his thing and that's even providing that there's a place for that.
I've been to Canberra plenty of times, mainly for the Summernats, but I've yet to find out exactly where the WW show is being held in relation to that place. I could leave him at home, but that would mean locking him inside all day.
Living where I do, there's no "backyard" to fence him in, but I'll definitely be giving it some thought.
I'll leave you with a few of the pics I took today, mainly inside the shed, but here are two for starters. One is of my closest companion "George" my short haired Border Collie. The smartest little bugger on four legs, and also part of my back yard....not sure which tho.
I'll be posting the rest into their respective Forums after I've finished here.

Cheers,
Bob

ps....Dear Mods,
Being the most honest, generous and kind hearted gentlemen that we all know you to be. If I could kneel, I'd be grovelling at your feet right now. ..... (God this is sickening isn't it?)
I am just asking that I be allowed to show these pics here to my friends to show that because of all their support, my head is in a much better place right now.
Besides, I have already berated myself severely and slapped myself several times over the wrist with a tram ticket. Now if that doesn't show my age I don't know what will.

Respectfully,
Grasshopper.

I'll try and find some pics of where the show will be held and the surroundings. If I get a chance and find them I'll post them here tonight.

Originally Posted by Glenrob

Dave,
Thanks for the offer, but I've been to every specialist, every self help group, every on line Depression site (Men's Shed inclusive), the only place I found that was manned by people who REALLY listened is called "Dads in Distress" who are based in Coffs Harbour. Great guys and very friendly and helpful.


Bob

Bob,

Have you gone to a local Men Shed, not the on line website but the real bricks and mortar building with real guys present. I'm sure that being among them would help you tremendously.

I'm a volunteer at our local men's shed setup, and run, by the local community health service and all the guys have had some kind of problem or demon to concur.

All the guys look after each other and even I, when I found out I had prostate cancer, was helped greatly by the support and being able to talk it over with others who had it.

I know all sheds are different but I'm sure that being in company of guys that don't judge will be helpful and will force you to get out again.

Peter.

Originally Posted by jhovel

Welcome back Bob!
I can imagine that you feel alone in your struggle - sadly all of us who suffer with this bloody condition think that at times.
Here are some statistics for you (that you may already know - just to remind you): one in six adults suffer clinical depressions (not reactive depression as a result of an actual loss) at least once in the lives. Only half ever seek help. THis forum has 81,153 Members, Currently Active 10,454. That means you and I are members of a potential support community of around 1742 people! So 871 active members KNOW they have our condition AND have sought or are getting help

Hi Bob, you are not alone, I am #672 (of the 871). I have suffered my whole life, but there has always been times between bouts, sometimes quite long, when I feel normal. It is these times that get me through the bad times. I know it will get better.

As for getting out of bed, one of the best things you can do is set small tasks, don't look ahead, one thing at a time or it is easy to get overwhelmed. I would do this all the time, I would think about all the things that would need to be done for a particular project, by the end of the thought process it was all too much and I wouldn't bother. What I started doing was, think what do I need to do first, and then I would go do it. If that meant going to Bunnings, off to Bunnings, if it meant clearing a space in the shed....clean your shed. After you have done that, what is the next step etc.

This may not cure your depression, but it will get you out of bed, lounge, chair, bar....once you are busy and you have completed something, you feel like doing more, before you know it....it's finished. Stepping back and looking at a completed project is good medicine.

You did a smart thing by asking for help, not directly, but nevertheless, you got help. There has been a real change in society lately to mental health, some of the replies you have received are proof. Only a few good work mates, where I work, know I have mental health issues. An interesting thing happened at work a few months ago. One of the younger guys had a breakdown and was on two weeks sick leave. Now bear in mind that very few people at my work know I suffer from a mental illness, so I would sit back and listen when the subject came up "where's Davo" (not his real name, his real name is Johnno), and to my surprise all the comments were supportive, and as the subject widened into mental health issues there was a real understanding that it needs to be brought out and discussed so others can help. When he came back there was no finger pointing or funny looks, it was "good to see you back mate". Not all workplaces are like this but it is promising.

So you are not alone Bob, if you need a chat, FF to PM.