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Forum: WOODIES JOKES

Heard a good joke about woodworking lately? Seen a good comic strip? Maybe know a tall TALE or two that could even be true. Let's hear it from you.

  1. Sticky Thread Sticky: Not a joke. Just a bit of fun MK.XVII

    Started by jmk89, 5th February 2018 11:56 AM
    102 Pages •
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... 102
    3 Attachment(s)
    • Replies: 1,521
    • Views: 206,585
    AlexS
    25th September 2018, 09:10 AM Go to last post

  2. Sticky Thread Sticky: Not a joke. Just a bit of fun MK.XVIII

    Started by jmk89, 25th September 2018 11:40 AM
    90 Pages •
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... 90
    • Replies: 1,338
    • Views: 109,051
    jmk89
    9th September 2019, 11:51 AM Go to last post

  3. Sticky Thread Sticky: Not a joke. Just a bit of fun MK.XIX

    Started by jmk89, 9th September 2019 11:53 AM
    100 Pages •
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... 100
    4 Attachment(s)
    • Replies: 1,495
    • Views: 64,727
    Bob38S
    3rd March 2021, 09:27 AM Go to last post

  4. Sticky Thread Sticky: Not a joke. Just a bit of fun Mk XX

    Started by jmk89, 3rd March 2021 10:27 AM
    57 Pages •
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... 57
    2 Attachment(s)
    • Replies: 848
    • Views: 31,405
    russ57
    21st February 2024, 07:19 PM Go to last post

  5. Sticky Thread Sticky: Keep it clean

    Started by Big Shed, 8th February 2012 02:12 PM
    ages, bar, clean, confused, cross, daughter, determine, forum, forums, front, inappropriate, increase, joke, jokes, local, people, post, posting, pub.no, read, section, simple
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 12,576
    ubeaut
    14th March 2017, 08:08 AM Go to last post

  1. Whores and Hockey players

    Started by Cliff Rogers, 11th January 2005 10:51 PM
    boy, buy, canada, earlier, feet, florida, half, head, heads, hell, hockey, impressed, leave, lettuce, manager, people, persists, play, players, replied, sell, sir, situation, son, supermarket, tells, whod, whores, wife
    • Replies: 4
    • Views: 1,683
    Termite
    13th January 2005, 03:45 PM Go to last post

  2. One for the cemetery nuts

    Started by Allan at Wallan, 24th August 2012 05:56 PM
    allan, approached, bicycle, cautiously, cemetery, couple, divided, fence, fenderbelly, hear, heard, hobbled, hundred, lord, metres, munruben, nuts, passed, quickly, repeatedly, road, sharing, stick, telling, threatening, tree, truth, voice, walking, words
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 1,682
    fenderbelly
    24th August 2012, 10:22 PM Go to last post

  3. Anyone want to guess.....

    Started by Grumpy John, 13th March 2012 07:04 PM
    allowed, call, dress, fairies, gnome, guess, head, lady, robbo, tea
    • Replies: 10
    • Views: 1,681
    Rodgera
    10th April 2012, 06:42 AM Go to last post

  4. New Two-wheeler power saw!

    Started by dubrosa22, 20th May 2018 05:01 PM
    bike, crazy, dangerous, dumb, firewood, funny, joke, motorcycle, power saw, stupid, trailbike, video
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 1,681
    dubrosa22
    20th May 2018, 05:01 PM Go to last post

  5. Talking How to lower a WRX ....

    Started by Cliff Rogers, 30th May 2005 11:17 PM
    lower, rolleyes, wrx
    • Replies: 4
    • Views: 1,681
    Cliff Rogers
    2nd June 2005, 08:51 PM Go to last post

  6. Dinner meeting

    Started by joevan, 4th July 2012 05:47 PM
    ago, answer, dinner, friends, greek, guess, italian, joevan, meeting, nice, paid, restaurant, rome, spaniard, time, tomorrow
    • Replies: 6
    • Views: 1,681
    Wongo
    6th July 2012, 05:41 PM Go to last post

  7. Fools and a speed camera

    Started by RufflyRustic, 26th September 2005 12:07 PM
    camera, cheers, enjoy, fools, rufflyrustic, speed
    • Replies: 6
    • Views: 1,680
    Daddles
    27th September 2005, 12:54 AM Go to last post

  8. Pet flea

    Started by munruben, 3rd September 2007 10:41 AM
    bar, bartender, beautiful, beer, blob, called, cedric, counter, crushed, dead, decided, dirty, enjoyed, flea, friend, home, looked, lot, matchbox, moment, pet, proudly.what, pub, standing, suddenly, taste, thumb, tricks, warning, yeah
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 1,680
    Skew ChiDAMN!!
    3rd September 2007, 07:19 PM Go to last post

  9. Chinese proverbs

    Started by Christopha, 22nd December 2004 11:01 PM
    bound, build, car, catch, change, chinese, church, crabs, crib, day, determine, drive, earth, elevator, fart, fill, hell, midget, nails, night, pew, piece, proverbs, run, screw, sit, smell, stand, war, wife
    • Replies: 11
    • Views: 1,680
    Wongo
    24th December 2004, 10:01 AM Go to last post

  10. One for the "tea lady"

    Started by Allan at Wallan, 2nd November 2008 12:31 PM
    absolutely, afternoon, allan, complain, day, heard, lady, responded, tea, tea lady, terrible, weak, woodie
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 1,679
    tea lady
    5th November 2008, 09:19 AM Go to last post

  11. For females... all and sundry! please take note!

    Started by Christopha, 22nd November 2005 05:29 PM
    ambitious, anniversaries, arrangements, birthdays, bring, capable, compassionate, compliments, courageous, dependable, determined, father, females, food, forget, forgetting, happy, honest, lots, love, naked, note, passionate, regularly, rich, shopping, stress, sundry, time, true
    • Replies: 11
    • Views: 1,679
    Iain
    23rd November 2005, 07:53 AM Go to last post

  12. Is it true ...

    Started by Allan at Wallan, 23rd September 2011 11:30 PM
    allan, books, buy, happiness, love, marriage, read, separate, true
    • Replies: 7
    • Views: 1,679
    A Duke
    13th October 2011, 08:18 PM Go to last post

  13. The birds and the bees

    Started by Barry Hicks, 24th November 2007 06:01 PM
    baby, beach, bees, billy, birds, brings, class, explained, fall, hand, love, meet, miss, months, shag, sister, stork, teacher, telling, woman
    • Replies: 4
    • Views: 1,679
    munruben
    25th November 2007, 04:51 PM Go to last post

  14. Ghost Driver

    Started by rtfarty, 29th August 2007 07:49 AM
    appeared, breath, car, curve, driver, drunk, experience, gathering, ghost, hand, horrible, inside, john, jumped, lights, night, pub, ran, realised, road, rushed, shots, slowly, started, storm, strength, telling, tequila, wet, wheel
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 1,678
    Allan at Wallan
    29th August 2007, 08:50 PM Go to last post

  15. Sexist or True?

    Started by Terry B, 2nd March 2007 02:14 PM
    breakfast, burst, butter, calmly, careful, cooking, couple, crazy, driving, eggs, feels, forget, fry, god, hurry, husband, kitchen, listen, lost, ome, replied, salt, sexist, stared, stick, suddenly, true, wife, world, wrong
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 1,678
    popawisky
    6th March 2007, 12:38 AM Go to last post

  16. New Blood

    Started by ozwinner, 19th April 2005 09:18 PM
    blood, greet, grunt, kill, notice, roster
    • Replies: 6
    • Views: 1,678
    Rusty
    20th April 2005, 12:31 AM Go to last post

  17. American Lawyers

    Started by Ashore, 6th May 2006 09:39 PM
    affect, alive, american, attorney, autopsies, autopsy, check, court, courts, date, dead, death, doctor, dress, forget, lawyers, memory, morning, oral, patient, people, performed, sitting, son, taking, terminated, time, voodoo, witness, word
    • Replies: 12
    • Views: 1,677
    DanP
    8th May 2006, 09:32 PM Go to last post

  18. Look out prudes.... the willy gets a mention!

    Started by Christopha, 18th April 2005 02:11 PM
    absolutely, advertising, boss, bring, drugs, home, life, meeting, mention, overnight, pecker, penis, positively, prudes, quicker, rock, slogan, slogans, staff, strong, ten, top, touch, unanimous, upper, viagra, week, whaazzzz, whopper, willy
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 1,677
    Christopha
    18th April 2005, 02:11 PM Go to last post

  19. Painful Moments

    Started by Allan at Wallan, 3rd August 2007 12:16 AM
    allan, bent, broken, caught, chain, chap, comparing, dying, evening, gee, hope, horse, moment, moments, painful, possessions, prized, rabbit, ran, replied, responded, setting, stood, time, timers, toe, trap, traps, worried
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 1,677
    rod@plasterbrok
    5th August 2007, 10:37 PM Go to last post

  20. Scented Candles for Men

    Started by Rodgera, 7th March 2009 03:07 PM
    ammonia, arc, bacon, bass, burning, candles, caught, chainsaw, dirt, dog, exhaust, fertilizer, foods, freshly, fried, frying, grass, gunpowder, interior, leaves, light, lot, men, ozone, paint, scented, smoke, time, wet, wood
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 1,676
    Allan at Wallan
    8th March 2009, 08:38 PM Go to last post

  21. Humming Sound

    Started by Barry_White, 18th April 2004 01:49 PM
    bed, bedroom, buzzing, closest, coming, couple, daughter, daughters, days, entering, exclaimed, found, game, hall, heard, home, humming, husband, living, mother, naked, parents, replied, son-in-law, sound, television, time, vibrator, walking, watching
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 1,675
    Barry_White
    18th April 2004, 01:49 PM Go to last post

  22. A Gentlemans club.

    Started by munruben, 20th May 2008 04:42 PM
    bend, bit, britches, close, club, day, exciting, faced, foot, fouled, gentlemans, hind, huge, jove, khyber, legs, pass, range, reared, regiment, regiments, rrowwwr, search, separated, sir, suddenly, suppose, tiger, time, trail
    • Replies: 6
    • Views: 1,675
    Barry Hicks
    21st May 2008, 05:06 PM Go to last post

  23. Tommy Cooper one liners

    Started by simon c, 10th September 2004 01:32 PM
    arm, bloke, brother, buy, car, colin, complimented, cooper, cricket, cross-eyed, day, doc, doctor, doctors, driving, guy, hows, hurt, left, liners, nice, note, parking, people, round, start, tommy, vet, walked, windscreen
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 1,675
    Driver
    11th September 2004, 03:43 PM Go to last post

  24. No Retirement Home for Me

    Started by Barry_White, 3rd August 2006 06:39 PM
    ago, cruise, home, mediterranean, retirement, western, wife
    • Replies: 6
    • Views: 1,675
    jow104
    4th August 2006, 01:26 AM Go to last post

  25. Julia and the Cow

    Started by Woodkid, 18th November 2011 08:00 PM
    bottle, car, charming, chauffeur, check, countryside, cow, daughter, driving, earth, farmer, gillard, gillards, god, grin, happened, julia, killed, love, malt, manner, meal, replies, road, slap-up, suddenly, touring, walks, whisky, wife
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 1,675
    Woodkid
    18th November 2011, 08:00 PM Go to last post

  26. Sorry John

    Started by Barry Hicks, 10th October 2007 09:55 AM
    daughter, girl, jane, john, minister, mother, mummy, munruben, munrubens, replied, reply, school, spoke, sunday, told, wrong
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 1,674
    munruben
    10th October 2007, 07:43 PM Go to last post

  27. Stolen watch

    Started by Allan at Wallan, 27th August 2007 06:12 PM
    allan, blink, centre, day, dying, eye, hope, local, matter, police, remember, report, rotten, sat, seat, shopping, stolen, taking, time, watch, worried
    • Replies: 6
    • Views: 1,674
    scooter
    28th August 2007, 06:13 PM Go to last post

  28. Worst Album Covers

    Started by Grunt, 30th August 2006 12:50 PM
    album, covers, worst
    • Replies: 6
    • Views: 1,674
    bsrlee
    30th August 2006, 09:11 PM Go to last post

  29. Las Vegas Catholic Churches

    Started by Baz, 25th January 2006 07:23 PM
    basket, cashed, casino, casinos, catholic, chip, chips, churches, collect, collected, comin, franciscan, havedevised, las, living, method, monastery, monks, nearby, offerings, origin, passed, send, services, sorting, sunday, surprise, surprisingly, vegas, worshippers
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 1,674
    Auld Bassoon
    26th January 2006, 04:32 PM Go to last post

  30. Smile ATM MACHINES

    Started by DPB, 6th February 2003 03:43 PM
    amount, atm, bag, brake, car, card, cash, drive, empty, enter, hand, handbag, holder, insert, inside, locate, machine, machines, male, parking, pin, procedure, provided, re-empty, receipt, required, retrieve, reverse, slot, window
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 1,674
    John Saxton
    6th February 2003, 08:27 PM Go to last post

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