Advice for Women

**WoodGirl** · 6th February 2007, 09:52 AM

15 Items of Advice for Women

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.
6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.
10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
12. The children of

Israel

wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.
14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
15. Sadly, all men are created equal.

**johnc** · 6th February 2007, 11:32 AM

Ah but Woodgirl, God made us this way so women had a chance to understand us, now when he made women he made the mistake of thinking we were smart enough to work them out ourselves in all their guises. How wrong he was, the rule book for ladies read, if men ever work us out its time to change all the rules.

Cheers, John.

**WoodGirl** · 6th February 2007, 12:16 PM

Originally Posted by johnc

How wrong he was, the rule book for ladies read, if men ever work us out its time to change all the rules.

Cheers, John.

It keeps your grey matter ticking over ... and ours

Cheers

**Howdya do that** · 6th February 2007, 02:09 PM

Wood girl,
Do you participate in Mardi gra's or do you want to play proffesional football but the boys wont let you?

**WoodGirl** · 6th February 2007, 04:02 PM

Mardi Gras? Heck no!!!!

I did try out for the Power ruck tho, but they said I was a little on the short side

Cheers

**SPIRIT** · 6th February 2007, 04:24 PM

gees this the 2nd thread you started like this (who needs men) is there something you are trying to tell us

**WoodGirl** · 6th February 2007, 04:30 PM

History shows I've started many more than two

... but they're achieving the desired effect

Cheers

**Barry_White** · 6th February 2007, 05:07 PM

Woodgirl

Maybe you would be happier on this forum.

http://www.discovervancouver.com/for...TOPIC_ID=74067

**WoodGirl** · 6th February 2007, 05:13 PM

Posted - 3/10/2006 12:15:02 PM

Part of what makes us men is the extra chromosone that allowsus to not whine or be affectedby such things.

**pawnhead** · 6th February 2007, 07:34 PM

Originally Posted by johnc

Ah but Woodgirl, God made us this way so women had a chance to understand us, now when he made women he made the mistake of thinking we were smart enough to work them out ourselves in all their guises.

I've worked them out. It all boils down to a simple mathematical formula: -

First, we state that women require time and money:

Women = time * money

...and as we all know, "time is money":

Time = Money

...and therefore:

Women = Money * Money = (Money)^2

...and because "Money is the root of all evil":

Money = sqrt(evil)

...therefore:

Women = (sqrt[evil])^2

...and we are forced to conclude that:

Women = Evil

However, when women are faced with simple formulas they usually come up with solutions like this : -

**tameriska** · 6th February 2007, 09:21 PM

On the subject of advice for women, you do realize that this is a woodworking forum?
I am confused as to what the desired effect of these threads is supposed to be?

**SPIRIT** · 6th February 2007, 09:39 PM

Originally Posted by tameriska

On the subject of advice for women, you do realize that this is a woodworking forum?
I am confused as to what the desired effect of these threads is supposed to be?

it's call fishing once you get a bit of a bite you just reeeeeel it in

see some things are just funny

**AlexS** · 7th February 2007, 09:45 AM

WoodGirl seems to have found the right bait.

**Barry_White** · 7th February 2007, 12:17 PM

Originally Posted by SPIRIT

it's call fishing once you get a bit of a bite you just reeeeeel it in

see some things are just funny

Not only has she found the right bait on a forum that is made up 90% of men she has also found a good fishing hole.

But I do think she needs to go and find some psychological help. Maybe Derek should join in.

Pity she hasn't contributed something about woodwork other than her name "Woodgirl". Maybe it should be "Woodhead"

Sorry I don't usually get that sarcastic but just can't help myself.

By the way Pawnhead I love your analogy. But mind you there're not all like that. We do have some great ladies on this forum that have their priorities in the right place.

**David L** · 7th February 2007, 12:41 PM

But mind you there're not all like that. We do have some great ladies on this forum that have their priorities in the right place.

Barry, In the context of this forum I assume you mean WOOD work after all that's what this forum is about isn't it?

Maybe some one should tell Woodheart oops I mean Woodgirl ,

so far I haven't seen anything wood related from her or maybe I dozed off for a sec.

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