Airplanes usually kill you quickly, a woman takes her time.

Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of the switch.

Airplanes don't get mad if you do a "touch and go."

Airplanes don't object to a preflight inspection.

Airplanes come with a manual to explain their operation.

Airplanes have strict weight and balance limitations.

Airplanes can be flown at any time of the month.

Airplanes don't come with in-laws.

Airplanes don't care about how many airplanes you've flown before.

Airplanes and pilot both arrive at the same time.

Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplanes.

Airplanes don't mind if you buy airplane magazines.

Airplanes expect to be tied down.

Airplanes don't comment on your piloting skills.

However, they both have one thing in common -- when either one of them

goes quiet, it's definitely not good........