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Thread: Alans diet

  1. #1
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    Default Alans diet

    Alan walks into a doctor’s office at Wallan with a stick of celery in one ear, a carrot in the other and a grape up his nose. Confused, Alan asks: "Doctor what's wrong with me?" The doctor looks at Alan and replies...













    "You're not eating properly!"
    Reality is no background music.
    Cheers John

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  3. #2
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    Pretty Sally Hill, Wallan Vic
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    Same doctor - next day.

    I went there with a pain in the tummy. He asked what
    food I had eaten that day.

    I replied, "For breakfast - two billiard balls, one pink, one black.
    Then for lunch - two billiard balls, one brown , one yellow.
    and finally for dinner - four reds".

    The doctor said, "It's simple, you are not eating enough greens".

    Allan
    Life is short ... smile while you still have teeth.

  4. #3
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  5. #4
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    I saw Alan today actually, he was flying a kite. I asked him what he was doing flying a kite and he replied that he had been to the doctor and asked him if he could give him something for the wind. so he gave him a kite.
    Reality is no background music.
    Cheers John

  6. #5
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    Tallahassee FL USA
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    Default

    Alan's wife saw him flying a kite. She told him, "You need more _ _ _ _."

    He said, "Last night you told me to go fly a kite."

    Cheers,
    Joe
    Of course truth is stranger than fiction.
    Fiction has to make sense. - Mark Twain

  7. #6
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    Yes so Allan made his kite used some Osage Orange for the frame being a double box kite he decided he needed plenty material for the sails. His MiL wasn't to pleased though he'd used a pair of her silk bloomers.

  8. #7
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    Melbourne Australia
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    You've forgotten Al's dietry problems
    - it's getting a bit hard to stomache
    Have a good one
    Keith

  9. #8
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    Allan goes back to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head.



    Doc says 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.'

  10. #9
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    At last, after roughly three weeks without my computer it is
    finally repaired and returned to me today.

    On the rare occasion that I have needed to I used my wife's
    laptop I can now declare .... "I hate it". I am a touch typist
    from way back and find the laptop simply too small for my
    fingers.

    My wife has never heard me use so many expletives and she
    is more relieved than me to get mine back.

    Glad to see my "mates" have been busy posting jokes
    about me in my absence ... thanks fellas.

    Allan
    Life is short ... smile while you still have teeth.

  11. #10
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    Allan all you needed to do was plug the USB key board into the USB slot on the laptop.

    As for being a touch typist from way back is that when the typwriter first hit the market

  12. #11
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    Default

    boom boom
    Mick

    avantguardian

  13. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by wheelinround View Post
    Allan all you needed to do was plug the USB key board into the USB slot on the laptop.

    As for being a touch typist from way back is that when the typwriter first hit the market
    You are a cruel man Ray.

    Have been a touch typist since 1957 for what its worth.

    Allan
    Life is short ... smile while you still have teeth.

  14. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Allan at Wallan View Post
    You are a cruel man Ray.

    Have been a touch typist since 1957 for what its worth.

    Allan
    That was the year Sue was born Allan I recall those typewriters old heavy and the need for brickies touch on the keys.

  15. #14
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
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    Townsburg NQ
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    Default touch typing???

    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7pn67BiL4k"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7pn67BiL4k[/ame]

  16. #15
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    Just a quickie, I have also just got my PC back today but I cannot find the spell checker, how do I install that please?
    I can type faster than her, but not so accurately.
    woody U.K.

    "Common looking people are the best in the world: that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them." ~ Abraham Lincoln

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