Dis-sociated Press International - All the News That's Unfit to Print

The Board of County Commissioners, at a special hearing last Wednesday, approved a permit for the erection of an amusement park on the grounds of the county's Sanitary Treatment Facility in Sagebrush Canyon. The successful petitioner is Paradise Engineering and Construction, of Intercourse, Pennsylvania, with branch offices in Cialis, Oregon and Viagra, Italy.

The only objection came from a breeder of storks on an adjacent property. He asserted the likelihood of historical artifacts being disturbed by the project. Paradise's Archaeologist, Ms. Rosetta Stone, PhD, testified that her investigation had indeed found such artifacts, which will be incorporated in a memorial display. The company's Loan Arranger, Mr. I. O. Silver, CPA, stated that the project's budget includes the new work.

To allay concerns about discrimination of any kind, their Affirmative Action Officer, Rachel Harmony, MSW, distributed copies of the company's Inclusionary Policy. Commissioners were unanimously satisfied with the document.

Landscape design is being prepared by Moe deLon and Associates.

According to Paradise's Director of Scheduling, Justin Thyme, ASAP/PDQ, construction of the amusement park is expected to be completed in about nine months.

Cheers,
Joe