Being a very caring grandparent here is my answering machine message:

Hi, at present we are not available but please leave a message after
you hear the beep. Beeeeeeeppp!

If you are one of our children, dial 1 then select from the following
options.

If you need us to stay with or mind the grandchildren, press 2.
If you want to borrow our car, press 3.
If you want us to wash your clothes or do your ironing, press 4.
If you want us to pick up your kids from school, press 5.
If you want us to cook you a meal, press 6.
If you want the meal delivered to your home, press 7.
If you need money, press 8.
If you are bringing wood or new chisels for woodturning, start talking,
... I am listening.

Allan