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Thread: Beer, what beer

  1. #1
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    Default Beer, what beer

    At a national conference of the Australian Hotels Association, the general managers of Cascade Brewery (Tasmania), Tooheys (New South Wales), XXXX (Queensland), CUB (Victoria), Coopers (South Australia) and Swan Brewery (Western Australia) found themselves sitting at the same table for lunch.



    When the waitress asked what they wanted to drink, the GM of Tooheys said without hesitation, "I'll have a Tooheys New."


    The head of Carlton & United smiled and said, "Make mine a VB." To which the boss of Coopers replied, "I'll have a Coopers, the King of Beers."


    The bloke from Cascade asked for "a Cascade, the cleanest draught on the planet."


    The bloke from Swan asked for a Swan Lager.


    The General Manager of XXXX paused a moment and then placed his order: "I'll have a Diet Coke."


    The others looked at him as if he had sprouted a new head.


    "Well, he said with a shrug, if you blokes aren't drinking beer, then neither will I!"
    To grow old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

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  3. #2
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    I don't really want to start a parochial argument, but I like this joke EXCEPT for the beer that is in the punchline!!!

  4. #3
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    What should it be then Crunchie???
    To grow old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

  5. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crunchie View Post
    I don't really want to start a parochial argument, but I like this joke EXCEPT for the beer that is in the punchline!!!
    Is that because it was a Great Northern joke?

  6. #5
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    Hi,
    He should have gone for a Classic Coke, to Hell with the wimpy Diet stuff.
    Regards
    Hugh

    Enough is enough, more than enough is too much.

  7. #6
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    I'm told that the reason Queenslanders drink XXXX is because they can't spell 'beer'.
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  8. #7
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    (covers head, waits for hail of hurled timber offcuts to rain down on him.....)

  9. #8
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    I got online in 1990. (dons reading glasses, sits back into recliner) In the old days there was a thing called usenet news. It was a development of the old bulletin boards.

    One group was soc.culture.australia, populated by foreigners interested in australia and some australians setting them...er helping...

    Occasionally people tried to start an argument. Trolls. They would call us everything you could imagine, never a response, but every few months someone would strike upon the 2 topics that would start an almighty flame war amongst the aussies.

    Which beer is best...and..

    What do you call 24 cans of beer..

    WW3. Every darn time.

    Priorities..
    I'm just a startled bunny in the headlights of life. L.J. Young.
    We live in a free country. We have freedom of choice. You can choose to agree with me, or you can choose to be wrong.
    Wait! No one told you your government was a sitcom?

  10. #9
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    Good one - it could be told which ever beer you think is best !!

  11. #10
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    As a young bloke I worked nights as a bouncer. Believe me the side effects can be sobering.

  12. #11
    Boringgeoff is offline Try not to be late, but never be early.
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    A few years ago, on a rail construction site, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen for awhile and we had a beer together at the wettie in the camp. He said he'd have a "Stella" (Stella Artois) which I'd never heard of. I was drinking Emu Export which at the time was often referred to as "wife basher" . When he saw my choice of beer he said "what the hell you drinking that for Geoff it'll make you go mad! Stella is much better for you".
    Back home sometime later I was relating this story to a workmate and he informed me that Stella was the European version of "wife basher". These days Emu Export is known as Bush Chook.

  13. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by damian View Post
    I got online in 1990........

    Which beer is best...and..

    What do you call 24 cans of beer..

    WW3. Every darn time.

    Priorities..
    Q1. There is no such thing as a bad beer, some, are just better than others.

    Like every good rule there is 1 exception, Southwark aka the green death, unfortunately tested by many desperate Queenslanders during our beer strike.

    Q2. Not enough.

    Enuf said.
    Regards,
    Bob

    Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

  14. #13
    rrich Guest

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    My thought on what to call the empty 24 cans of beer.

    The remnants of a very good time.

  15. #14
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    Not sure what 24 empty cans of beer would be called, but 24 empty rum bottles would be "departed spirits."

    Regards
    Paul
    Bushmiller;

    "Power tends to corrupt. Absolute power corrupts, absolutely!"

  16. #15
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    Mr Dewar and Mr Teacher were on their way to a funeral, but s they had arrived a little too early, decided fill in time by having a drink at a nearby pub. Mr Teacher volunteered to buy and came back with two shots of his company's Teacher's whiskey. The two men downed these and found they still had time on their hands so Mr dewar said, " same again?" He returned from the bar with two more whiskeys and Mr Teacher immediately recognised his own brand of Teachers. After drinking it down he queried Mr Dewar on why he had not bought two Dewars. Mr Dewar replied,

    "I didn't think it was befitting that we should arrive at a funeral smelling of whiskey."

    Regards
    Paul
    Bushmiller;

    "Power tends to corrupt. Absolute power corrupts, absolutely!"

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