Thread: Some more blonde jokes

Two Blondes With Hammers...
Lynn & Judy were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity house.
Lynn was nailing down house siding & would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it
over her shoulder or nail it in.


Judy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, 'Why are you throwing those nails away?'
Lynn explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end
and I throw them away.'
Judy got completely upset & yelled, 'You moron! Those nails aren't defective!
They're for the other side of the house!'


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Did you hear about the two blondes
Who froze to death in a drive-in movie theatre?


They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter.'


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A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency
Room doctor asked her.


'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied.


'What?' sputtered the doctor 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?'


'No, silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest and then I thought, 'I just paid $6,000 for these implants...
I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'


'So then?' asked the doctor..


'Then I put the gun in my mouth and I thought, 'I just paid $3,000 to get my teeth straightened - I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'


'So then?'


'Then I put the gun to my ear and I thought: 'This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the
trigger.' .......

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A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm.. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it
to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun... He told her to go home and blow into the
tailpipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.


So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe.. Nothing happened.. So she blew a little
harder and still nothing happened.


Her blonde room mate saw her and asked, 'What are you doing?' The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the
tailpipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The room mate rolled her eyes and said, 'Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first.'


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A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver thermos.
She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the clerk to ask what it was.


The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot, And cold things cold'


'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing....I'm going to buy it!'
So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day


Her boss saw it on her desk. 'What's that,' he asked?


'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,' she replied..


Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?'


The blonde replied.......'Two popsicles and some coffee.'


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AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST


A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.


Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?'


The blonde replies, 'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.'


The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 'Why don't you go home for the day? Take the day off to relax and rest.'


'Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.'


The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde.

He looks out from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically...


'What's so bad now? Are you going to be okay?' he asks.


'No!' exclaims the blonde. 'I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!'