My girlfriend says I'm scared of commitment. Actually, I really should start referring to her as my wife...

I was puzzling over why Frisbees appear larger the closer they get. Then it hit me...

Size really does matter. I didn't think so and then all my wallpaper fell down.

So what if I can't spell Armigeddon. It's not the end of the world...

Me? Lazy? Just don't get me started...