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Thread: Memo from Osama

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Yinnar, Victoria, Australia
    Age
    66
    Posts
    1,277

    Post Memo from Osama

    MEMORANDUM


    From: Bin Laden, Osama
    To: Team Mates
    Subject: The Cave

    Hi guys,

    We've all been putting in long hours recently and we've really come
    together as a group and I love that. Big thanks to Omar for putting up the
    poster that says "There is no 'I' in team" as well as the Garfield that
    says "Hang In There, Baby." Very humorous.


    However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the
    cave. And frankly I have a few concerns.

    First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we
    should be even more concerned about the carpet dust in our cave. We want
    to avoid excessive dust inhalation, (a health and safety issue) - so we
    need to sweep the cave daily, I've done my bit on the cleaning
    rota...........have you? I've posted a sign up sheet near the cave
    reception area (next to the halal toaster).

    Second: It's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to
    scare most of the world population, okay? That means that while we're
    taping, please do not ride your razor scooter in the background or keep
    doing the 'Wassup' thing. Just while we're taping. Thanks.

    Third: Food. I bought a box of Dairylea recently, clearly wrote "Ossy" on
    the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, two of my Dairylea Slices
    were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.

    Fourth: I'm not against team chanting and all that, but, we must distance
    ourselves from the Westerner's bat and ball game. Please do not chant
    "Ossy Ossy Ossy Oi Oi Oi" every time I ride past on the donkey. Thanks

    Finally, we've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise trying
    to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First
    patrol will be Omar, Mohammed, Abdul, Akbar, and Dave.

    Love you lots, Group Hug.

    Os.

    PS - I'm sick of having Osama's Bed Linen scribbled on my bed sheets - Cut it out Abdul, not funny anymore


    CAUTION - This message may contain privileged and confidential information
    intended only for the use of the addressee named above. If you are not the
    intended recipient of this message, especially if you are one of the afore
    mentioned Western Soldiers, you are hereby notified that any use,
    distribution or reproduction of this message is prohibited, under US Law,
    (we have a team of specialist 'Lawyers' to protect against such misuse). So
    be a nice Western Imperial Dog and forget you ever saw it, OK. If you have
    received this message in error then, oops sorry, please notify your nearest
    Jihad recruitment office. They have an office right around the corner.

    I try and do new things twice.. the first time to see if I can do it.. the second time to see if I like it
    Kev

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  3. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
    Location
    Western Australia
    Age
    77
    Posts
    3,679

    Post

    Ossama version of PMS
    Johnno

    Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

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