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Thread: Computer Terms

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Kentucky NSW near Tamworth, Australia
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    Default Computer Terms

    COMPUTER TERMS - TEXAS TRANSLATION:
    LOG ON: Making a wood stove hotter.
    LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood.
    MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the wood stove.
    DOWNLOAD: Gettin' the farwood off the truck
    MEGA HERTZ: When yer not keerful gettin' the farwood
    FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood
    RAM: That thing tha splits the farwood
    HARD DRIVE: Gettin' home in the winter time
    PROMPT: What the mail ain't in the winter time
    WINDOWS: What to shut when it's cold outside
    SCREEN: What to shut when it's black fly season
    BYTE: What them dang flies do
    CHIP: Munchies fer the TV
    MICRO CHIP: What's in the bottom of the munchie bag
    MODEM: Whatcha did to the hay fields
    DOT MATRIX: Old Dan Matrix's wife
    LAP Where the kitty sleeps
    KEYBOARD: Where ya hang the dang truck keys
    SOFTWARE: Them dang plastic forks and knives
    MOUSE: What eats the grain in the barn
    MOUSE PAD: That's hippie talk fer the mouse hole
    MAIN FRAME: Holds up the barn roof
    ENTER: Northerner talk fer "c'mon in, y'all"
    RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: When ya can't 'member what ya paid fer the rifle

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  3. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2000
    Location
    Drop Bear Capital of Gippsland (Lang Lang) Vic Australia
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    Default

    Top 10 Ways to know if you are using a Texan's Computer...


    10. The monitor is up on little blocks.
    9. Outgoing faxes have toebacky stains on them.
    8. The six front keys have rotted out.
    7. The extra RAM slots have Ford truck parts stored in them.
    6. The numeric keypad only goes up to four.
    5. Every password is "Bubba."
    4. There's a gun rack mounted on the side of the computer.
    3. There's a Skoal can used for your beverage coaster.
    2. The keyboard is painted in camouflage.
    AND the number 1 way to tell if a Redneck has been working on a computer
    is...
    1. The mouse is referred to as the "critter."
    Stupidity kills. Absolute stupidity kills absolutely.

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