Siamese twins walked into a pub in Ontario and parked themselves on a couple of bar stools. One of them said to the barman, 'Don't mind us, we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers, draft please'.

The barman, feeling slightly awkward, tried making polite conversation while pouring the beers. 'Been on holidays yet, lads?'

'Off to England next month,' said John. 'We go to England every year and hire a car and then just drive and drive for miles, don't we, Jim?' Jim agreed.

'Ah, England!' said the barman. 'Wonderful country... the history, the beer, the culture...'

'Nah, we don't like that British crap,' said John. ' Hamburgers & Molson's beer, that's us, eh Jim? And we can't stand the English - they're such stiff shirts.'

'So why do you keep going back?' asked the barman.

'It's the only chance Jim gets to drive.'