Gone to Heaven

**Tikki** · 14th August 2005, 05:33 PM

Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven.

God comes and says,
'I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men who dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. Also. I want all the women to go with Saint Peter.'

With that said and done, the next time God looked, the women were gone and there were two lines. The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 160 km long, and in the line of the men who dominated their women, there was only one man.

God got mad and said to the 160-km-long line,
'You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image and your mates whipped you all. Look at the only one of my sons who stood up and made me proud. Learn from him. Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?'

And the man replied,
'I don't know. My wife told me to stay here.'

**Christopha** · 14th August 2005, 05:41 PM

In our house I always have the last word....... "Yes Dear!"

**doug the slug** · 14th August 2005, 09:11 PM

Gumby, Stuart_lees and Sturdee all die and go to heaven. They look through the pearly gates and see that the ground in heaven is covered with ducks. St Peter meets them at the Pearly Gates and explains the rules to them, he says: "its not like people on earth think, we really only have one rule here. the ducks are precious and you can do almost anything but dont step on a duck, or else.

anyway, the three of them have a lot of fun for a few days and manage to avoid the ducks, then sturdee's duck-missing jig broke and he fell straight onto a duck. St Peter appeared out of nowhere and handcuffed Sturdee to teh ugliest female he had ever seen and told him that this was his partner for eternity as his penalty for stepping on a duck.

Well the other two were extremely carefull for a while till stuart had a couple too many reds at craigbs and accidentally stood on a duck on the way home, and he too was handcuffed to an extremely ugly woman and tole that she was his partner for eternity.

So what do you think Gumby did? he became a recluse and never went out! he stayed right away from the ducks for 10 years. one day St Peter appeared out of the blue with this incredibly beautiful woman called tikki who owned her own tablesaw an a workshop with 15 amp power and St Peter handcuffed her to Gumby.

Gumby was extatic, and fell to his knees and thanked St peter, much to the disgust of the beautiful woman who said " its alright for you, I just stepped on a duck!!!!"

guest · 14th August 2005, 09:14 PM

So Tikki got stuck with Gumby?

**Auld Bassoon** · 14th August 2005, 09:21 PM

Tikki,

Take a (very large) Bex and lie down. Right the hell now! just do it! Urgently! You have had a BAD day. Build a bridge & get over it, that's what they're for...

Salut mon cher petite!

**Auld Bassoon** · 14th August 2005, 09:23 PM

Doug!

You rotten traitor.

Cheers!

**echnidna** · 14th August 2005, 09:51 PM

Gumby scored

**doug the slug** · 14th August 2005, 10:03 PM

Originally Posted by echnidna

Gumby scored

not nessicarily, all that can be confidnetly confirmed is that tikki stepped on a duck.

**Tikki** · 14th August 2005, 10:14 PM

Like I said in "If Women Ruled" plus ... Gumby, you're not invited ... on the mat!!

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