Thread: Groaners - politically incorrect but who really cares

Due to the current economic crisis, Greece is cancelling the production of all Humus and Taramasalata. It's a double dip recession.


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63 Pakistanis died in Bradford this morning.
It was not a terrorist attack, a bunk bed collapsed…
The police are blaming AL IKEA .


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Jamie Oliver has been accused of shoplifting a kitchen utensil from Tesco.
Oliver says it was a whisk he was prepared to take.


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Police stopped a Pakistani in his transit van on the motorway.
Policeman says "Do you know the limit is 70?"
The driver leans into the back and says: "Hear that........3 of you have got to get out!"


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Paddy & Mick stagger out of the zoo with blood pouring from them..
"Bollocks to that" said Paddy "That's the last time I go lion dancing"


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Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on Friday this year".
Mick said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th then."


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My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.


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Since the snow came, all the wife has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.


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I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.
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Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.


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A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Rocher.......


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Just A Reminder to those who stole Electrical Goods in Last Year's Riots......
Your One Year Manufacturer's Warranty Runs Out Soon.


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Two Indian junkies accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine.
Both are in hospital...... One's in a korma....... The other's got a dodgy tikka


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In the first few days of the Olympics, eastern Europeans took gold, silver, bronze, copper & lead.


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An Englishman has started his own business in Afghanistan. He is making Land Mines that look like prayer mats! It's doing well! Prophets are going through the roof!


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A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?'
Granny replies, never mind the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?