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28th June 2013, 09:05 PM #1
Member
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- May 2012
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A few to get you all groaning......
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were $30, blow this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin, An hour later and they're still walking about with it. I thought to myself, they've lost the plot!
Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador . "Really, ." says Mick "have you seen how many of their owners go blind
The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death
Woke up in the middle of the night shouting, 'Hobbit, hobbit, hobbit!'
Guess I must have been Tolkein in my sleep...
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28th June 2013 09:05 PM # ADSGoogle Adsense Advertisement
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- Advertising world
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29th June 2013, 11:01 AM #2
Senior Member
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- Oct 2012
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- Mango Hill, Moreton Bay Region
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- 204
just told my daughter, these jokes. i wont repeat what she said
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29th June 2013, 01:27 PM #3
GOLD MEMBER
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- May 2012
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- Woodstock (Cowra)
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- 74
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- 3,381
Your intro line said it all
The person who never made a mistake never made anything
Cheers
Ray
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1st July 2013, 09:03 AM #4
GOLD MEMBER
- Join Date
- Jan 2006
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- Bowral, NSW, Australia
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- 74
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I just sent these to the two people who annoy me most. Thanks MBM.
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4th July 2013, 03:27 PM #5
GOLD MEMBER
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- May 2010
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- Not far enough away from Melbourne
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- 4,204
Originally Posted by MBM888
We had a meeting at work this morning. The boss asked "so who is not happy?"
I couldn't help it really - I replied "Well, statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy."
From that point onwards nothing productive came from the meeting. Thanks MBM888.
DougI got sick of sitting around doing nothing - so I took up meditation.
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11th July 2013, 01:37 AM #6
GOLD MEMBER
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- May 2010
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- Not far enough away from Melbourne
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- 4,204
I am getting so much mileage out of that joke. Originally Posted by doug3030
We had a meeting at work this morning. The boss asked "so who is not happy?"
I couldn't help it really - I replied "Well, statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy."
From that point onwards nothing productive came from the meeting. Thanks MBM888.
Doug
Today at work I was one of a selected few to attend a meeting with someone from top management who wanted to talk to a few frontline workers to create an impression that they are interested in the issues that confront us when we all know its a whitewashing exercise.
Anyway this clown starts spruiking about what statistics say about how our part of the business is performing. I tell him that what they say about what we do is irrelevant because their bean counters are evaluating our performance by comparing our measurable output to a theoretical spreadsheet that they have convinced management is the ideal when in fact it is not.
He took me to task and asked me to give an example.
I said that if I presented him with a statistical data analysis that said that six out of seven dwarfs are not Happy would he think that it was misleading because I was using a name to imply a state of mind.
He responded that yes that would be misleading but he could not see how that applied to the statistical data he received.
I responded that I agreed. That was not the data that was being presented to him by his bean counters. I said that the data he was getting was when they took the statistic that six out of seven dwarfs are not Happy and misrepresented it as therefore six out of seven dwarfs ARE Grumpy when we all know that only one is.
It has been a good week at work
Cheers
DougI got sick of sitting around doing nothing - so I took up meditation.
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11th July 2013, 05:44 PM #7
GOLD MEMBER
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- Jan 2009
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- Brisbane
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- 1,770
That is hilarious
There ain't no devil, it's just god when he's drunk!!
Tom Waits
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