A bloke's wife is in maternity and about to give birth. He can't stand the wait and goes across the road to the local pub.
He has a couple of beers and calls the hospital for a progress report. Nothing. Another couple of beers, another phone call - still nothing. On it goes until he's so plastered he's just about able to drag himself to the phone where he misdials and gets through to the local cricket club. "What's the latest?" he slurs.
The voice at the other end says, "All ten are out and the last two were ducks."

Pete