Thread: Two jokes

Got these off another forum, though you'se think there are right crackers.

Black Panties

Sherry lost her husband almost four years ago and still hasn't
gotten out of her mourning stage. Her daughter constantly urges her to get back into the dating world.
Finally, Sherry says she'll go out, but doesn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies,
"Mama! I have someone for you to meet."

Well, it's an immediate hit. They really like one another and after dating for six weeks, he asks her to join him for a weekend in the mountains.

Their first night there, she undresses as does he.
There she stands nude except for a pair of black lacy panties, while he is in his birthday suit.
Looking at her he asks, "Why the black panties?"
She replies, "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning."

The following night the same scenario.
She's standing there with the black panties on and he is in his birthday suit...except that he has a black condom over his erection.
She looks at him and asks, "What's with the black condom?"
He replies, "I want to offer my deepest condolences."
__________________

The 3 Surgeons

3 surgeons were sitting around in a pub discussing their most impressive work.

The English surgeon said "I had a patient got caught in a combine harvester - all they could drag out was a finger. I took that finger and built a hand for it. Attached that hand to an arm and the arm to a whole new body. The fellow fully recovered and when he went back to work he was so efficient he put 5 men out of work".

The Russian surgeon said "I had a patient who was incinerated in a nuclear reactor. All I got to work from was a hair from his head. To that I attached more hair, a head and I put that head on a whole new body which I built myself. The operation took 36 hours straight. That fellow recovered and went back to work and he was so efficient he put 20 men out of work".

The American surgeon said "a few years back, I took a fart, wrapped some bum lips around it and called it George Bush. He was so damned efficient he put the whole county out of work".