I have been led to believe the following are true and were collected by court reporters in the US.

Attorney: Are you sexually active?
Witness: No, I just lie there.

Attorney: What gear were you in at the moment of impact?
Witness: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Attorney: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning
Witness: He said, "Where am I Cathy?"
Attorney: And why did that upset you?
Witness: My name is Susan.

Attorney: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep
he doesn't know about it until next morning?
Witness: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

Attorney: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed
on dead people?
Witness: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like
to rephrase that?

Attorney: All your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you
attend?
Witness: Oral.

Attorney: Can you describe the individual?
Witness: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Attorney: Was this a male or a female?
Witness: Guess.

There are several more if you can stand them.