Thread: Laws of the Universe

Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with
grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will
roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a
busy signal and someone always answers.

Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work
because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you
were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works
every time).

Warm Water Theorem - When the body is fully immersed in water, the
telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know
increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be
seen with.

Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine
won't work, it will.

The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your
boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly
sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the
newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product
that you really like, they will stop making it.

Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to
the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. But don't
make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.