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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    207

    Default The letter I would least like to recieve

    Dear Mr Hicks,

    Congratulations, you have won division 1 in Gold Lotto draw 1234. You and each of the other 5000 winners will receive..............

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  3. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Goulburn NSW
    Age
    89
    Posts
    913

    Default

    $1.50 each and a free ticket in Monday's draw...

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    West Gippsland, Vic
    Age
    72
    Posts
    4,608

    Default

    When soccer pools first started in Aust (do they still have it I wonder?) I got all the games. I was ready to retire. I won.....$1.26. That's right ONE DOLLAR TWENTY SIX CENTS. I never cashed the cheque. I was so upset and insulted when Harry never came to present it too me.
    True story.

    I had an aunty once who won div 2 in tattslotto. My mother sent her a large green garbage bag with a request to fill it up. Said auntie sent a small envelope back with $5.00 in it. She won some piddling amount ( a 6000th share of 26000 bucks or sumat.)
    If you never made a mistake, you never made anything!


  5. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Oberon, NSW
    Age
    63
    Posts
    13,360

    Default

    I still wouldn't mind receiving that letter... better a few extra cents in my pocket than someone else's.

    No... the one I dread would go along the lines of "We are sorry to inform you that due to recent legislation your divorce has been declared null and void and you're now back in the deep end."
    I may be weird, but I'm saving up to become eccentric.

    - Andy Mc

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    207

    Default Unwanted letter

    Yair Skew. that would be the one to avoid!

    Barry Hicks

  7. #6
    Calm's Avatar
    Calm is offline Stubby Owner and proud of it. Now coming back to Earth.:D
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Niddrie, Victoria
    Age
    67
    Posts
    2,264

    Default

    Skew
    you sure opened the can of worms at both ends i reckon.

    Dont even go there, once is enough.
    regards

    David


    "Tell him he's dreamin."
    "How's the serenity" (from "The Castle")

  8. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    207

    Default Unwanted letter

    Shedhand, I know of a guy who won the 'top shelf' division in those old soccer pools. He pulled the pin from his job and shouted all the staff to a slap-up night out.
    When the cheque arrived, it wasn't even enough to cover the cost of the night out - he and the rest of the world got it right that time.
    His old boss gave him his job back but his workmates left him with the bill for the booze-up.
    There is a moral in there!

    Barry Hicks

  9. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Melbourne
    Age
    65
    Posts
    11,997

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Barry Hicks View Post
    .....snip..... His old boss gave him his job back but his workmates left him with the bill for the booze-up.
    There is a moral in there!

    Barry Hicks
    Moral? Irony I reckon.

  10. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Sydney
    Age
    63
    Posts
    1,619

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Skew ChiDAMN!! View Post
    your divorce has been declared null and void and you're now back in the deep end."
    You know why divorce is so expensive?

    Because it's worth it!


  11. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Riverhills, Brisbane
    Age
    64
    Posts
    1,216

    Default

    Statistics prove that 100% of Divorces are the result of marriages

  12. #11
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Sydney
    Age
    63
    Posts
    1,619

    Default

    And one in five people make up 20% of our population.


  13. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    North Of The Boarder
    Age
    68
    Posts
    16,794

    Default

    "Your mother sister and niece are moving back to Australia"

  14. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 1999
    Location
    Westleigh, Sydney
    Age
    77
    Posts
    9,550

    Default

    Dear Mr. Hicks,

    Your one way ticket to Cuba is enclosed.....
    Visit my website
    Website
    Facebook

  15. #14
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Waverton
    Posts
    222

    Default

    Dear Mr Hicks,
    You have been entered into Hell's [insert sport name here]. Your first match will be next Tuesday........

    See, that is even worse than the enquiry by the fellow of his Minister about whether they played golf in Heaven. The Minister said he did not know but would pray and attempt to find out.
    He saw the fellow a week later and said "The good news is that they do. The bad news is that you are down to play in the September mixed foursomes!"
    CJ
    Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly Anon
    Be the change you wish to see in the world Ghandi

  16. #15
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Glenhaven, NSW
    Age
    81
    Posts
    1,064

    Default

    Love is grand.
    Divorce is a hundred grand.

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