Thread: One liners...

Here are a selection of one liners that I enjoy, and often put to various electronic documents

Some of them have been plagiarised from signatures on this and other forums; please feel free to add to this lot!


I for one, like Roman Numerals.
There is a fine line between numerator and denominator. Only a fraction of people understand this.
There are 10 kinds of people; those who understand Binary Notation and those who don’t.
A thief stole my anti-depressants. I hope he’s happy now.
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is similar.
Which Spice Girl can carry the most petrol? I think Geri can.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.
I saw a robbery at an Apple store, the Police have me down as an iWitness.
I only recognise 25 letters in the English alphabet. I don’t know why.
Computer Security won’t let me use “Fortnight” as my password. Apparently it’s too weak.
I became a security guard for Samsung because I wanted to be a Guardian of the Galaxy.
To be frank; I’d have to change my name.
My horse’s name is “Mayo”. Mayo neighs.
The first 5 days after the weekend are always the hardest.
I could go running, or I could win Lotto. The odds are about the same.
I never run with scissors. Actually, the last two words were unnecessary.
Someone once told me I was delusional. I laughed so hard I nearly fell off my unicorn.