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  1. #1
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    May 2010
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    Default Marketing explained

    People often ask for a simple explanation of "Marketing".
    Well, here it is.


    You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."
    That's Direct Marketing.


    You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and, pointing at you, says, "She's fantastic in bed."
    That's Advertising.


    You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."
    That's Telemarketing.


    You see a guy at a party; you straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I?" and reach up to straighten his tie, brushing your breast against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
    That's Public Relations.


    You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed."
    That's Brand Recognition.


    You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you talk him into going home with your friend.
    That's a Sales Rep.


    Your friend can't satisfy him so she calls you.
    That's Tech Support.


    You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing, so you climb onto the roof of one situated towards the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!"
    That's Facebook.


    You're at a party. This guy looks okay at first, and he makes passes at you until you decide you like him and and then he just bends you over the nearest planter and has his way with you and laughs at you and then wanders off and bends over the next person.
    That's politics.
    When you are dead you donít know that you are dead. You feel no pain, everyone else feels the pain. Itís the same thing when you are stupid.

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  3. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Sydney
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    Default

    Reminds me of the differences between salesmen, engineers & marketers:

    An Engineer starts their career knowing a great deal about very little, and who goes along knowing more and more about less and less until finally, he knows practically everything about nothing.


    A Marketer, on the other hand, starts their career knowing a very little about a great deal and keeps knowing less and less about more and more, until he knows practically nothing about anything.


    A Salesman starts their work life knowing a little bit about most things, but ends by knowing nothing about anything, due to being advised by Marketers and Engineers.

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Bundaberg
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    Default

    .. and that reminds me of the difference between university graduates...

    A graduate with an Engineering degree asks; "How does it work?"
    A graduate with Physics degree asks: "Why does it work?"
    A graduate with an Accountancy degree asks: "How much does it cost to make it work?"
    A graduate with an Arts degree asks: "Would you like fries with that?"
    Nothing succeeds like a budgie without a beak.

  5. #4
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Chief Tiff View Post
    A graduate with an Arts degree asks: "Would you like fries with that?"
    Chief Tiff, it's just as well I have a BSc as well as my BA or I might take exception to that.
    When you are dead you donít know that you are dead. You feel no pain, everyone else feels the pain. Itís the same thing when you are stupid.

  6. #5
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    Murray Bridge SA
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    Default

    I'm a BA too, Bull**** Artist that is
    To grow old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    ACT
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    Default

    Hi,
    We all know what BS stands for
    and MS is more of the same
    and PHD is just piled higher and deeper.

    Regards
    Hugh

    Enough is enough, more than enough is too much.

  8. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Sydney
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    69

    Default

    and MD is much deeper

  9. #8
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    Murray Bridge SA
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    Default

    Does anyone know how to tell the difference between Bull***t and Cow***t???
    Throw a shovel full into the air, if it comes down that'll be the cow***t,
    and if it stays up there that's bull***t
    Kryn
    To grow old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

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