Thanks Thanks:  0
Likes Likes:  0
Needs Pictures Needs Pictures:  0
Picture(s) thanks Picture(s) thanks:  0
Results 1 to 15 of 15
  1. 20th January 2012, 07:23 AM #1
    RETIRED
    RETIRED is offline Retired
    Join Date
    May 1999
    Location
    Tooradin,Victoria,Australia
    Age
    73
    Posts
    11,918

    Default Medical Info Women Should Know




    Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
    A: No, 35 children is enough.

    Q : I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
    A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

    Q : What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
    A: Childbirth.

    Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
    A: So, what's your question?

    Q?: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
    A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

    Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
    A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

    Q?: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
    A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

    Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
    A: Yes, pregnancy.

    Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
    A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

    Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
    A: When the kids are in college.

    "ESTROGEN ISSUES"
    10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"

    1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
    2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
    3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
    4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
    5. You 're using your cell phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving".
    6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
    7.. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space."
    9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
    10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

    TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND

    10. Cats' facial expressions.
    9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
    8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
    7. Fat clothes.
    6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
    5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, ivory & eggshell.
    4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
    3. Eyelash curlers.
    2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
    AND, the Number One thing only women understand:

    1. OTHER WOMEN



    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  2. 20th January 2012 07:23 AM # ADS
    Google Adsense Advertisement
    Join Date
    Always
    Location
    Advertising world
    Age
    2010
    Posts
    Many





     
  3. 23rd January 2012, 11:27 AM #2
    Allan at Wallan's Avatar
    Allan at Wallan
    Allan at Wallan is offline Retiring type.
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Pretty Sally Hill, Wallan Vic
    Age
    84
    Posts
    1,723

    Default

    Well I got a few laughs out of them.

    No other responses.

    Allan
    Life is short ... smile while you still have teeth.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  4. 23rd January 2012, 12:49 PM #3
    tea lady's Avatar
    tea lady
    tea lady is offline SENIOR MEMBER
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    belgrave
    Age
    61
    Posts
    7,934

    Default

    So how many sugars do you have in your tea again?

    anne-maria.
    T    ea Lady
    (White with none)
    Follow my little workshop/gallery on facebook. things of clay and wood.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  5. 23rd January 2012, 01:00 PM #4
    johnc's Avatar
    johnc
    johnc is offline GOLD MEMBER
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Sale
    Age
    68
    Posts
    1,328

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by tea lady View Post
    So how many sugars do you have in your tea again?

    Isn't it just a matter of changing the sugar and salt shakers over and letting the boss take his own medicine TL.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  6. 23rd January 2012, 01:01 PM #5
    Jim Carroll's Avatar
    Jim Carroll
    Jim Carroll is offline GOLD MEMBER
    Join Date
    May 1999
    Location
    Grovedale, Victoria Australia
    Age
    66
    Posts
    3,896

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by tea lady View Post
    So how many sugars do you have in your tea again?

    Better put a couple more in I think he need sweetening up
    Jim Carroll
    One Good Turn Deserves Another. CWS, Vicmarc, Robert Sorby, Woodcut, Tormek, Woodfast
    Are you a registered member? Why not? click here to register. It's free and only takes 37 seconds!
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  7. 23rd January 2012, 01:35 PM #6
    Grommett's Avatar
    Grommett
    Grommett is offline SENIOR MEMBER
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Harmers Haven Victoria
    Age
    75
    Posts
    854

    Default

    Dangerous ground
    Michael

    Wood Butcher
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  8. 23rd January 2012, 02:06 PM #7
    jmk89's Avatar
    jmk89
    jmk89 is offline Moderate Moderater
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Lindfield N.S.W.
    Age
    62
    Posts
    5,643

    Default

    What happened to Estrogen issue number 8? I'm sure it was a doozy
    Cheers

    Jeremy
    If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere well it were done quickly
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  9. 23rd January 2012, 02:19 PM #8
    tea lady's Avatar
    tea lady
    tea lady is offline SENIOR MEMBER
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    belgrave
    Age
    61
    Posts
    7,934

    Default

    Maybe there is Estrogen in the sugar bowl? I don't take sugar in my tea!
    anne-maria.
    T    ea Lady
    (White with none)
    Follow my little workshop/gallery on facebook. things of clay and wood.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  10. 23rd January 2012, 02:21 PM #9
    tea lady's Avatar
    tea lady
    tea lady is offline SENIOR MEMBER
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    belgrave
    Age
    61
    Posts
    7,934

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jmk89 View Post
    What happened to Estrogen issue number 8? I'm sure it was a doozy
    The dog ate it!
    anne-maria.
    T    ea Lady
    (White with none)
    Follow my little workshop/gallery on facebook. things of clay and wood.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  11. 23rd January 2012, 06:12 PM #10
    RETIRED
    RETIRED is offline Retired
    Join Date
    May 1999
    Location
    Tooradin,Victoria,Australia
    Age
    73
    Posts
    11,918

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by tea lady View Post
    So how many sugars do you have in your tea again?

    2, when you aren't trying to poison me by forgetting.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  12. 23rd January 2012, 11:23 PM #11
    Tim the Timber Turner
    Tim the Timber Turner is offline SENIOR MEMBER
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Location
    South Australia
    Posts
    650

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jmk89 View Post
    What happened to Estrogen issue number 8?
    Pick any of the following.

    1: He wasn't game?

    2: Julie was watching over his shoulder?

    3: TL was pointing a blunt skew at his delicate bits.

    4: He's just a big wooss (you know what I mean, I just don't know how to spell it).

    Cheers

    Tim
    Some days I turns thisaway, somedays I turns thataway and other days I don't give a stuff so I don't turn at all.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  13. 24th January 2012, 07:58 AM #12
    RETIRED
    RETIRED is offline Retired
    Join Date
    May 1999
    Location
    Tooradin,Victoria,Australia
    Age
    73
    Posts
    11,918

    Default

    No 8 was deleted from the one sent to me but if you really want to know do a search on "10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES".
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  14. 24th January 2012, 04:57 PM #13
    tea lady's Avatar
    tea lady
    tea lady is offline SENIOR MEMBER
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    belgrave
    Age
    61
    Posts
    7,934

    Default

    No 8 doesn't make sense and also isn't funny!
    anne-maria.
    T    ea Lady
    (White with none)
    Follow my little workshop/gallery on facebook. things of clay and wood.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  15. 24th January 2012, 05:46 PM #14
    cava
    cava is offline GOLD MEMBER
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Mornington Peninsula
    Posts
    2,746

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Grommett View Post
    Dangerous ground
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  16. 25th January 2012, 06:31 PM #15
    munruben's Avatar
    munruben
    munruben is offline GOLD MEMBER
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Munruben, Qld
    Age
    83
    Posts
    10,027

    Default

    good one.
    Reality is no background music.
    Cheers John
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Similar Threads

  1. Medical Vista
    By gawdelpus in forum WOODTURNING - PEN TURNING
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 20th June 2010, 03:52 PM
  2. Mariied women and single women weight difference
    By munruben in forum WOODIES JOKES
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 16th October 2009, 08:46 PM
  3. Medical conundrum
    By Wild Dingo in forum HEALTH ISSUES
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 14th June 2007, 11:48 AM
  4. Medical Dilemma
    By Cliff Rogers in forum WOODIES JOKES
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 11th October 2005, 09:04 PM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Forum Rules