Thread: Mensa 2008

Originally Posted by joe greiner

I suppose this could've been posted in the Quiz forum, but it's a little light for that.

Washington Post's Mensa Invitational

Mensa list 2008
Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners. Read them carefully. Each is an artificial word with only one letter altered to form a real word.

17. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
16. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
15. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
14. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
13. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
12. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
11. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
8. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer.
7. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
6. Glibido: All talk and no action.
5. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
4. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
3. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
2. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
#1 pick: Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an arzole.

Added by my correspondent: Amensa---------The smartest class in Sunday School.

Over to you, Ozzies.

Joe

Did you really get this out of the Washington Post this year as I have seen most of them previous to to 2008? I think it may be from one of those recurring joke emails that reincarnates itself every six months with a new title.

Think so too, but they are still bloody clever

I agree Stuart, was just wondering though if Joe had actually copied it out of the Washinton Post because if he has they have been taken for a ride

Nope. I received it in an e-mail yesterday. Gawd knows how many times it's been around, but like Stuart said, still bloody clever.

Heck, about 2 percent of the jokes in this very forum are recycled after about 6 months or so.

Joe

Shellack: running out of wood finish before completing a woodwork project.

Spokeshove: jamming an old-fashioned tool in the back of the drawer.

Bindsaw: woodwork machine used to find the hidden stresses in a piece of timber.

Damnino: clone of Festool joining machine.

Chisell: marketing all those chisels you've bought at markets, restored, sharpened, but never got around to using.

Hammerde!: French exclamation after unintentionally flattening a thumb.

Thicknesserr: taking off just a little bit too much in the last pass. See also "Jointerr", "Routerr".

Sheilawax: Product to help you glibly explain tool purchases to SWMBOs.


Cheers,
Andrew

OK guys, see if any shoe fits...

woodporker: overweight woodworker

woodforker: hobbyist woodworker paying through the nose

woodcorker: you wish!

Good ones, Andrew and F&E.

How 'bout
Lather: Brain condition when woodturning goes awry.

Joe

Dovefail: cutting too much off the last pin.

Chainslaw: mixture of wood chips, kevlar, blood and thigh flesh. Commonly made by forestry workers.

Cycloneing: making a dust collector enhancer exactly like someone elses.

Tailstack: a pile of stuff on the other end of the lathe to the headstock.

Cheers,
Andrew