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Thread: Paraprosdokian

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Murray Bridge SA
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    Default Paraprosdokian

    The following are paraprosdokians. A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence is unexpected and oft times very humorous:

    *If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they'd eventually find me very attractive.

    *I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they're flashing behind you.

    *Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.

    *Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

    *I'm great at multitasking, I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

    *If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

    *Take my advice — I'm not using it.

    *My wife and I were happy for twenty years; then we met.

    *Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they're at home when you wish they were.

    *Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

    *Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

    *Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.

    *He who laughs last thinks slowest.

    *Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly?

    *Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do-it-yourself type.

    *I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.

    *Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

    *I was going to wear my camouflage shirt today, but I couldn't find it.

    *If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

    *Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.

    *If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?

    *Money is the root of all wealth.
    To grow old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

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  3. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Queensland
    Posts
    2,913

    Default

    * If you are not living on the edge you’re taking up too much space.
    Regards,
    Bob

    Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    ACT
    Age
    81
    Posts
    2,508

    Default

    Blessed are the meek, for thy shall inhibit the Earth.
    Hugh

    Enough is enough, more than enough is too much.

  5. #4
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Woodstock (Cowra)
    Age
    71
    Posts
    2,737

    Default

    If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done
    The person who never made a mistake never made anything

    Cheers
    Ray

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Sunbury, Vic
    Age
    81
    Posts
    2,448

    Default

    Once I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
    Tom

    "It's good enough" is low aim

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    1,475

    Default

    It looked fine out this morning, so I left it out.
    H.
    Jimcracks for the rich and/or wealthy. (aka GKB '88)

  8. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Littlehampton, SA
    Posts
    173

    Default

    Glue on your fingers is not something you want to be stuck with

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