Thread: Peanuts

An old lady offers the bus driver some peanuts......
so the driver happily munches them.
Every 5 minutes she gives him a handful more peanuts.....
Driver asks the old lady, "Why don't you eat them yoursef?"
To which the old lady replies "I can't chew them, look I have no teeth."
Driver asks "Then why do you buy them???"
To which the old lady replies "OH, but I just love the chocolate around them."


Me: (sobbing me heart out, eyes swollen, nose red).
I can't see you anymore..... I'm not going to let you hurt me lke that again!!
Trainer: It was one sit up. You did one sit up.

It's been a strange sort of a day.
First I found a hat full of money.
Then I was chased by an angry man with a guitar......

I asked my Grandpa, "After 65 years, you still call Grandma
Darling Beautiful and Honey. What's the secret?"
He said "I forgot her name 5 years ago, and I'm too scared to ask her."

My wife asked me to take her to one of those places that make the food right in front of you.
So I took her to Subway and that's when the fight started