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  1. #1
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    May 2011
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    Default Scotch with two drops of water.

    A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today.'


    The bartender says, 'Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink.In fact, this one is on me.' As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, 'I would like to buy you a drink, too.'


    The old woman says, 'Thank you.


    Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.' 'Coming up,' says the bartender.




    As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, 'I would like to buy you one, too.' The old woman says, 'Thank you.


    Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.'


    'Coming right up,' the bartender says. As he gives her the drink, he says, 'Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?'


    The old woman replies, 'Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue.'
    To grow old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

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  3. #2
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    Westleigh, Sydney
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    Default

    At last! A new joke on the internet!
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  4. #3
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    Aug 2010
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    ACT
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    Default

    Water, a little of which can spoil a lot of Scotch.
    Regards
    Hugh

    Enough is enough, more than enough is too much.

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
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    Sunbury, Vic
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    Default

    Water is fine but it can rust your kidneys.
    Tom

    "It's good enough" is low aim

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Littlehampton, SA
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    Default

    A tour of the distilleries in Scotland would soon teach you that scotch should be tasted with 2 drops of water. Try it as a "blind" tasting and you will probably be amazed at the difference it makes.

  7. #6
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    May 2011
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    Default

    My brother used to drink Scotch and Coke, he'd get crook, then he tried rum and Coke, he'd get crook, Port and Coke, again he'd get crook. He reckoned that the common thing amongst it all was the Coke, so he then used to drink it neat.
    He didn't get crook any more, only problem was when he got cremated, it took 2 days to put the fire out.
    To grow old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

  8. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    Mt Crosby, Brisbane
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    As a lifelong whisky drinker there was a time when people thought adding anything to a single malt was heresy. Apparently teh thing now is to start neat and as you say add a little water with each sip. I do have to admit it brings out complexity I'd not tasted before.

    Unhappily I've had a niggling cough for a few months now, so I'm "forced" to have a few drinks each night for purely medicinal reasons.
    I'm just a startled bunny in the headlights of life. L.J. Young.
    We live in a free country. We have freedom of choice. You can choose to agree with me, or you can choose to be wrong.
    Wait! No one told you your government was a sitcom?

  9. #8
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    Jun 2003
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    Quote Originally Posted by damian View Post
    Unhappily I've had a niggling cough for a few months now, so I'm "forced" to have a few drinks each night for purely medicinal reasons.
    That's your excuse and you are stuck with it now.
    Tom

    "It's good enough" is low aim

  10. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
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    Canberra
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    Quote Originally Posted by damian View Post
    ... I've had a niggling cough for a few months now, so I'm "forced" to have a few drinks each night for purely medicinal reasons.
    Well, I wish you a long and serious illness that requires extensive medication.

  11. #10
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    Default

    I hope your cough has nothing to do with something starting with Carona...

  12. #11
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    Nov 2007
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    Mt Crosby, Brisbane
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    Default

    It started when I started cleaning out the garage. Lots of dust, much of it made by vermin. I've had these before and they linger. Blessed bother.

    But if you drink enough it either cures your cough or you stop caring.
    I'm just a startled bunny in the headlights of life. L.J. Young.
    We live in a free country. We have freedom of choice. You can choose to agree with me, or you can choose to be wrong.
    Wait! No one told you your government was a sitcom?

  13. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 1999
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    Westleigh, Sydney
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    It's not the cough that carries you off, it's the coffin they carry you off in.
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