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  1. 12th June 2017, 03:17 PM #1
    KBs PensNmore
    KBs PensNmore is offline GOLD MEMBER
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    Default Some Silly Stuff

    Six great confusions still unresolved:


    1. At a movie theatre, which arm rest is yours?


    2. In the word scent, is "S" silent or "C"?


    3. If people evolve from monkeys, why are monkeys still around?


    4. Why is there a 'D' in fridge, but not in refrigerator?


    5. Who knew what time it was when the first clock was made?


    6. If pro and con are opposites, wouldn't the opposite of progress be...congress?




    Vagaries of English Language!


    - Wonder why the word funeral starts with FUN?


    -Why isn't a Fireman called a Water-man?


    - How come Lipstick doesn't do what it says?


    - If money doesn't grow on trees, how come Banks have Branches?


    - If a Vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a Humanitarian eat?


    - How do you get off a non-stop Flight?


    - Why are goods sent by ship called CARGO and those sent by truck SHIPMENT?


    - Why do we put cups in the dishwasher and the dishes in the Cupboard?


    - Why do doctors 'practice' medicine? Are they just practicing at the expense of the patients?


    - How come Noses run and Feet smell?


    - Why do they call it a TV 'set' when there is only one?


    - What are you vacating when you go on a vacation?




    We can never find the answers, can we?


    So just enjoy the pun and fun of the English language!!
    To grow old is mandatory, growing up is optional.
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  2. 12th June 2017 03:17 PM # ADS
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  3. 12th June 2017, 03:23 PM #2
    KBs PensNmore
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    Default

    Points to ponder


    As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.
    – John Glenn

    When the white missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land. They said 'Let us pray.' We closed our eyes.
    When we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land.
    – Desmond Tutu

    America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.
    – David Letterman

    After the game, the King and the Pawn go into the same box.
    – Italian proverb

    When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
    – Prince Philip

    Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself.
    – Harrison Ford

    If life were fair Elvis would still be alive today and all the Impersonators would be dead.
    – Johnny Carson

    The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone.
    – George Roberts
    I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
    – Robert Benchley

    And the best one of all:
    We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.
    – W.H. Auden
    To grow old is mandatory, growing up is optional.
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  4. 12th June 2017, 05:25 PM #3
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    Default

    As a fireman I look after the fire and make sure it burns!
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  5. 13th June 2017, 02:31 AM #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by KBs PensNmore View Post
    In the word scent, is "S" silent or "C"?
    sent cent for scent
    regards from Alberta, Canada

    ian
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  6. 13th June 2017, 10:05 PM #5
    KBs PensNmore
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    Default

    No wonder migrants have trouble comprehending the English language, words with same sounds, different spelling, similar spelling, different sounds.
    No wonder I failed English at school.
    To grow old is mandatory, growing up is optional.
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  7. 14th June 2017, 01:55 PM #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by ian View Post
    sent cent for scent
    wrong! should be cents sent for scent.
    I would love to grow my own food, but I can not find bacon seeds
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  8. 14th June 2017, 07:11 PM #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tonto View Post
    wrong! should be cents sent for scent.
    You are both correct.
    Ian is sending one cent ($0.01), Tonto is sending more.

    What is the scent?
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  9. 14th June 2017, 08:33 PM #8
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    I think a TV was a set of valves
    regards
    Nick
    veni, vidi,     tornavi
    Without wood it's just ...
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  10. 15th June 2017, 02:27 AM #9
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    Not forgetting the oldy
    Wanted a sign reading Crown and Anchor.
    Sign writer made a mistake I wanted a dot between Crown and and and and and Anchor. You brainy blokes can put the commas in.
    I tried to be normal once.
    Worst 2 minutes of my life.
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  11. 15th June 2017, 02:44 AM #10
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    no comma required
    regards from Alberta, Canada

    ian
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  12. 15th June 2017, 08:42 AM #11
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sawdust Maker View Post
    I think a TV was a set of valves
    Yep, that's what I thought too

    TT
    Learning to make big bits of wood smaller......
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  13. 15th June 2017, 10:06 AM #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by popawisky View Post
    Sign writer made a mistake I wanted a dot between Crown and and and and and Anchor.
    You are an "and" short.
    I got sick of sitting around doing nothing - so I took up meditation.
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  14. 15th June 2017, 10:26 AM #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by popawisky View Post
    Wanted: a sign reading Crown and Anchor.
    Sign writer made a mistake I wanted a dot between Crown and and and and and Anchor. You brainy blokes can put the commas in.
    Quote Originally Posted by doug3030 View Post
    You are an "and" short.


    that's not how I'm reading it
    regards from Alberta, Canada

    ian
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  15. 15th June 2017, 10:59 AM #14
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    Default

    An and short????? That's andy
    I tried to be normal once.
    Worst 2 minutes of my life.
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