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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Pretty Sally Hill, Wallan Vic
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    84
    Posts
    1,723

    Default No sleep last night

    I have just had a terrible night and it was because I heard
    a strange noise outside.

    When I looked out there were two blokes pinching
    my side gates.

    I was going to say something to them but they
    may have taken a fence (offence).

    Allan.

    __________________________________________

    I am not at all worried about dying
    ... but just hope I am not there at the time.

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  3. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Munruben, Qld
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    83
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    Default

    Allan, you never cease to amaze me.
    Reality is no background music.
    Cheers John

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Pambula
    Age
    58
    Posts
    12,779

    Default

    Telegram to Allan c/o Wallan PO:

    Dear Allan [stop] Your jokes are terrible [stop] Won't you please, please [stop]

    "I don't practice what I preach because I'm not the kind of person I'm preaching to."

  5. #4
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Pretty Sally Hill, Wallan Vic
    Age
    84
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    Default

    STOP reading my jokes... just in case you crack a smile.

    STOP smiling at my jokes... when no one is looking.

    STOP sending telegrams... there are no telegram boys any more.

    I am reading all your STOP signs but please
    GIVE WAY TO MY RIGHT to make some others happy.

    Kind regards,

    Allan

    _______________________________

    I am not at all worried about dying
    ... but just hope I am not there at the time.

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Pambula
    Age
    58
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    Default

    See the little smiley face at the bottom of my post? They don't have them in telegrams, but that means I was trying to be humorous. I was parodying a joke from an episode of Blackadder in which he sends a telegram to Charlie Chaplin:

    From Blackadder Goes Forth:

    [after Baldrick's Charlie Chaplin impersonation]
    Captain Blackadder: Yes... take down a telegram, Bob.

    To Mr. Charlie Chaplin, Sennet Studios, Hollywood, California. Congrats stop. Have found only person in world less funny than you stop. Name Baldrick stop. Signed E. Blackadder stop. Oh, and put a P.S.: please, please, please stop.


    Later on....


    Melchett: Oh for goodness sake, Blackadder, have you been living in a cave?
    The Americans joined the war yesterday.

    Edmund: So how is that going to improve the men's morale, sir?

    Melchett: OOooooohhh, because you jibbering imbecile, they've brought with
    them the largest collection of Charlie Chaplin films in existence.
    I've lost patience with you. Fill him in, Darling. (exits)

    Darling: We received a telegram this morning from Mr. Chaplin himself, at
    Sennett Studios: (reads) 'Twice nightly screening of my films in
    trenches, excellent idea stop. But must insist E. Blackadder be
    projectionist stop. Oh PS, don't let him ever stop.'
    Never mind, I amused myself.

    "I don't practice what I preach because I'm not the kind of person I'm preaching to."

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Minbun, FNQ, Australia
    Age
    66
    Posts
    12,881

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by silentC View Post
    ...Never mind, I amused myself.

    There is a word for that.
    Cliff.
    If you find a post of mine that is missing a pic that you'd like to see, let me know & I'll see if I can find a copy.

  8. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    lower eyre peninsular
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    74
    Posts
    3,582

    Default

    [QUOTE=Allan at Wallan;574926]I have just had a terrible night




    not surprised the way and speed your telling jokes (?)
    I would love to grow my own food, but I can not find bacon seeds

  9. #8
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Pretty Sally Hill, Wallan Vic
    Age
    84
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    Default

    To "SilentC"

    I wasn't serious either. Just having a bit of fun.
    Place one of your jokes here and we can both
    have a laugh.

    Best wishes,

    Allan

    _____________________________________________

    I am not at all worried about dying
    ... but just hope I am not here at the time.

  10. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Beachport, South Oz, the best little town on the planet.
    Age
    72
    Posts
    1,675

    Default

    Don't be unkind, poor old Silent is into self amuse....

  11. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
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    Pambula
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    Default

    Well no-one else is going to do it for me!
    "I don't practice what I preach because I'm not the kind of person I'm preaching to."

  12. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2000
    Location
    Drop Bear Capital of Gippsland (Lang Lang) Vic Australia
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    74
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    6,518

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Cliff Rogers View Post
    There is a word for that.
    A famous seafaring character I believe
    Stupidity kills. Absolute stupidity kills absolutely.

  13. #12
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Minbun, FNQ, Australia
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    66
    Posts
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Iain View Post
    A famous seafaring character I believe
    Huh?

    Captain Pugwash is 2 words.
    Cliff.
    If you find a post of mine that is missing a pic that you'd like to see, let me know & I'll see if I can find a copy.

  14. #13
    Join Date
    Jul 2000
    Location
    Drop Bear Capital of Gippsland (Lang Lang) Vic Australia
    Age
    74
    Posts
    6,518

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Cliff Rogers View Post
    Huh?

    Captain Pugwash is 2 words.
    No, his right hand man...........
    Stupidity kills. Absolute stupidity kills absolutely.

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