Socrates

**Driver** · 2nd March 2006, 11:55 AM

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely acclaimed for his wisdom. One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Test of Three."

"The Test of Three?"

"That's right,"Socrates continued "Before you talk to me about my student let's take a moment to test what you're going to say. The first test is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man said, "actually I only just heard about it."

"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second test, the test of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?"

"Well … no, on the contrary..."

"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him even though you're not certain it's true?"

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.

Socrates continued. "You may still pass though, because there is a third test - the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really useful so much as ..."

"Well," interrupted Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?"

The man was defeated and ashamed.

So now, Dear Reader, you understand why Socrates was regarded as a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

You also understand why he never found out that Plato was shagging his wife.

**bsrlee** · 3rd March 2006, 12:24 AM

The real Mrs Socrates was a dragon, prototype for carvings of Medusa & similar. It has been suggested that the reason Socrates drank the hemlock was that the alternative was he would have had to go home.

**Shedhand** · 3rd March 2006, 01:39 AM

Originally Posted by bsrlee

The real Mrs Socrates was a dragon, prototype for carvings of Medusa & similar. It has been suggested that the reason Socrates drank the hemlock was that the alternative was he would have had to go home.

reminds of my first missus...ughhh :eek:...how blinded we are when young, stupid and full of it

**Iain** · 3rd March 2006, 08:41 AM

Originally Posted by bsrlee

The real Mrs Socrates was a dragon, prototype for carvings of Medusa & similar.

Reminds me of when I was a rep, had a client whose wife was a real evil bi tch, we to fill out client cards with all relevant information including wifes name so we could be 'professional' and appear that we knew who they were.
In this instance for her I put 'Medusa', sales manager, evil little maggot he was, went out one day and picked up card and called her Medusa, he had no idea what it meant, she did, and didn't this venomous little toad cop a fair old spray.
I got one later and had a lot of trouble keeping a straigh face

**scooter** · 3rd March 2006, 05:28 PM

**Rocker** · 3rd March 2006, 05:53 PM

Socrates' wife was called Xanthippe, which is Greek for bay mare. Apparently Socrates married her, knowing that she was a harridan, in order to test his patience. On the other hand she must have had her charms, since they had three sons.

Rocker

**Iain** · 4th March 2006, 07:52 AM

How does the song go:
Old Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
Socrates ???????
I've forgotten

**doug the slug** · 4th March 2006, 10:12 AM

Originally Posted by Iain

How does the song go:
Old Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
Socrates ???????
I've forgotten

A quick google search found this for you Ian

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stable.Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table.David Hume could out consume Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel,And Wittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya 'bout the raisin' of the wrist.Socrates himself was permanently .John Stuart Mill, of his own free will, after half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.Plato, they say, could stick it away, 'alf a crate of whiskey every day!Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle, and Hobbes was fond of his Dram.And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart: "I drink, therefore I am."Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed;A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's . -- Monty Python

**Iain** · 4th March 2006, 11:35 AM

Thanks Doug, another forward thinker

**Tonyz** · 4th March 2006, 09:58 PM

ahh damn those were the days .... songs of pleasure and innosence,

hell will we ever see the likes of Monty Python again still love their videos or ahem (:eek: )reproduced tv shows...our poor kids cant see whats funny,:confused: must have got that side from MIL.:eek: Tonto

**soundman** · 6th March 2006, 12:17 AM

Should we now expect a reading of the rules?

or a breif overview of the australian wine industry

You know in certain circles old farts like us can recite python and other greats and those younger can be perswaded that its your own twisted humour.

then again most of the younguns these days are like sepos,, if you don't smack em on the back of the head with a lump of hardwood they don't get it.

Any wonder they end up so twisted and unhealty of mind.

I firmly believe that large doses of british comedy and woodwork should cure many cases of mental anguish.

cheers

**soundman** · 6th March 2006, 12:24 AM

thinking further.
Can anyone think of a single case in popular culture, opera, mythology, television, movies ect ect of any period where a wood worker has been depicted as a dark, twisted, dark sole prone to violence, murder or suicide.

It must be the wood.

cheers

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