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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 1999
    Location
    The Gurdies, Victoria, Australia
    Age
    87
    Posts
    23

    Wink Sorry to my NZ mates.


    All Black Jokes (from a Kiwi friend),

    Q: What's the difference between the All Blacks and a Tea Bag.....
    A: A tea bag stays in the cup longer.

    Q: What is the main function of the All Black coach?
    A: To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.

    Q: What's the All Black version of a hat-trick?
    A: Conceding three tries in three minutes.

    Q: Why don't the All Black backline need pre-tour travel injections?
    A: Because they never catch anything.

    Q: What do the All Blacks and drug addicts have in common??
    A: Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.

    In the next edition of Chambers dictionary under 'complacent' it reads
    "New Zealand All Blacks, RWC Semi final, 1999"

    The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow
    White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a
    voice shouts out "New Zealand are good enough to win the World Cup."
    Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"

    Did you hear that the NZ Post Office has had to recall their latest
    stamps. They had pictures of All Black rugby players on them. People
    couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

    Did you hear about the NZ politician who was found dead in an All Black rugby jersey? The police had to dress him up in women's underwear in order to save his family from the embarrassment.

    Four surgeons are taking a coffee break. The first one says,
    "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up
    everything inside them is numbered." The second surgeon says, "Nah,
    librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical
    order." Third surgeon says, "Try electricians everything inside them
    is colour-coded." The fourth one says, "I prefer All Black rugby
    players. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and
    arses are interchangeable."

    Q: What do you have when the All Blacks are buried up to their necks n
    sand?
    A: Not enough sand.

    Q: What do you call an New Zealander at the RWC final?
    A: Ref.

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  3. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Location
    Upper Hutt, New Zealand
    Posts
    215

    Default Wallabies

    Two Wallaby fans were caught climbing the wall at a stadium where the Wallabies were playing.
    The police made them go back in and finish watching the game like everyone else.

    Earlier that day, the same stadium got a phone call asking what time the Wallabies game was kicking off.
    "What time can you get here?" they were asked.

    A strange white powder was discovered on the ground at a Wallabies training session yesterday. Neither the players nor the coach could figure out what it was.
    After analysis, it was discovered to be the try line.

    Pete

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Townsville. Tropical Nth Qld.
    Posts
    1,243

    Default

    I did not know whether to laugh or cry reading the " jokes ". As an Aussie, I have had some times I have nearly cried watching the Wallabies efforts against the All Blacks. But I guess as long as we live, there is hope that we may beat them some day.
    Rgds,
    Crocy.

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Location
    Upper Hutt, New Zealand
    Posts
    215

    Default Wallabies

    Crocy, you're right the AB's take a bit of beating but, stick a bat in an Aussie's hand and it's a different story...
    Pete

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    melbourne
    Posts
    381

    Default

    Long suffering wallabies fan here.
    I reckon The difference between Wallaby and All Black fans is Wallaby fans hope we'll win While All Black fans expect to win.
    So when we win we're pretty happy and when All Blacks win that was expected, but when they lose, well............
    It's difficult to stir a Kiwi about rugby but in early 2000's I was working with a woman who had married an NZ'er but being from Melbourne
    she knew nothing about rugby. She asked me for something to tell her in-laws re the upcoming test as they'd been stirring her about how bad Wallabies were.
    I told her to ask them how many times they'd won the World Cup, we had two and them one at the time.
    And if that doesn't have any effect offer to teach them how to bowl underarm.

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Location
    Upper Hutt, New Zealand
    Posts
    215

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mattocks View Post
    Long suffering wallabies fan here.
    Tautology...

    Pete

  8. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    melbourne
    Posts
    381

    Default

    yeah Pete, fair call

  9. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    melbourne
    Posts
    381

    Default

    And as for the super rugby Aoteoroa it would be very disappointing if the weekends games don't go ahead because of Covid.
    Both games were looking to be crackers, especially Blues v Crusaders.
    Crazy days

  10. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Singleton
    Posts
    95

    Default

    Thats what i love about rugby. The game is the winner.
    We can all have a laugh at each others expense and still see the funny side of it.
    No doubt,on another forum or a sport related site elsewhere, everyone now would have been deemed a racist or disrespectful and ugliness would be running rampant throughout everyone's responses.
    Nothing wrong with a bit of light hearted humour.

    Lets hope this Covid crap finishes sooner than later and we can all get to sit down and watch the All Blacks and the Wallabies go at it again.

  11. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    lower eyre peninsular
    Age
    74
    Posts
    3,577

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by rosewood View Post
    Thats what i love about rugby. The game is the winner.
    We can all have a laugh at each others expense and still see the funny side of it.
    No doubt,on another forum or a sport related site elsewhere, everyone now would have been deemed a racist or disrespectful and ugliness would be running rampant throughout everyone's responses.
    Nothing wrong with a bit of light hearted humour.

    Lets hope this Covid crap finishes sooner than later and we can all get to sit down and watch the All Blacks and the Wallabies go at it again.
    your a killer for punishment, when was it Wallabies won over All Blacks again..........
    I would love to grow my own food, but I can not find bacon seeds

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