one for the spelig Nazises

**Christopha** · 10th June 2004, 06:21 PM

1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid clichés like the plague.
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. No sentence fragments.
10. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
11. Don't use no double negatives.
12. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
13. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary.
14. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
15. Kill all exclamation marks!!!
16. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
17. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
18. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
19. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
21. Always check numbered lists.
22. HEADNGS: Check these letter by letter.
23. Never make generalisations, as they're always wrong.
24. Don't use a thesaurus, lexicon, glossary, vocabulary, or synonym finder.
25. Don't use sexist language -- the bitches don't like it.
26. always put a capital letter at the beginning of sentences and a full
stop at the end
27. Make shore ewe ewes aye spell chequer!
28. Avoid tautological repetitions of the same thing more than once.

**Kev Y.** · 10th June 2004, 10:47 PM

Christopha, I seem to remember an ex-moderator who upset a minority group here, dont let that happen to you

Kev

**Sturdee** · 10th June 2004, 10:58 PM

Christopha, I was going to remind you that the spelling issue is dead and buried and then I looked up and saw the heading of the forum and realised that you were only joking.

Peter.

**Cliff Rogers** · 11th June 2004, 12:03 AM

G'day.

English.... a language where a double negative is usually a positive but is sometimes a negative however... a double positive is always a positive...

Yeah, right.

Yeah, sure.

**Christopha** · 11th June 2004, 01:31 AM

Please note: the forum is JOKES and is not aimed at any grammatically challenged or dictionarily dorky individuals or any pedantic prat who may be offended by the aforementioned..... it's just a JOKE so please enjoy, I did!

**Caliban** · 16th August 2004, 11:52 AM

Chris
This is exactly the sort of pedantry up with which I will not put!

And, by the way, I did enjoy it.
Being a spelling nazi was fun until people began getting upsetted bye ut
Lets leave it buried.

**Dendot** · 16th August 2004, 11:47 PM

Originally Posted by Christopha

1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid clichés like the plague.
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. No sentence fragments.
10. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
11. Don't use no double negatives.
12. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
13. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary.
14. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
15. Kill all exclamation marks!!!
16. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
17. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
18. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
19. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
21. Always check numbered lists.
22. HEADNGS: Check these letter by letter.
23. Never make generalisations, as they're always wrong.
24. Don't use a thesaurus, lexicon, glossary, vocabulary, or synonym finder.
25. Don't use sexist language -- the bitches don't like it.
26. always put a capital letter at the beginning of sentences and a full
stop at the end
27. Make shore ewe ewes aye spell chequer!
28. Avoid tautological repetitions of the same thing more than once.

Or, as my English teacher used to say

"Never use a preposition to end a sentence with. Why do you chose such dull books to be read to out of from, for?"

**Bob Willson** · 17th August 2004, 09:17 AM

Originally Posted by Christopha

Please note: the forum is JOKES and is not aimed at any grammatically challenged or dictionarily dorky individuals or any pedantic prat who may be offended by the aforementioned..... it's just a JOKE so please enjoy, I did!

Just shut up and leave me alone Christopha.

**Christopha** · 17th August 2004, 04:43 PM

HUH?????????? :confused:

**nik** · 17th August 2004, 05:27 PM

Christopha, I did not understand 90% of those words that you said.

Is it the Queensland Governments fault that i didn't understand those words? Like i'm a smart chap, but i have no idea of the meanings of any of those big words like "tautological" or "Eschew" or "Parenthetical" or even worse... "always". I wouldn't even know the first step to pronouncing those words.

Nik.

**Caliban** · 17th August 2004, 07:09 PM

Originally Posted by nik

Christopha, I did not understand 90% of those words that you said.

Is it the Queensland Governments fault that i didn't understand those words? Like i'm a smart chap, but i have no idea of the meanings of any of those big words like "tautological" or "Eschew" or "Parenthetical" or even worse... "always". I wouldn't even know the first step to pronouncing those words.

Nik.

Nik
Christopha doesn't either, he's just trying to earn red squares by being annoying.
Just ignore him and maybe he'll go away. Or you could try my approach and insult him in a personal way, then he'll bring out the big guns and threaten to come around and bore you personally.
Christopha, up close and personal :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
Even Neil needs a break occasionally that's why he didn't take Chris to Newcastle.

**Bob Willson** · 17th August 2004, 08:26 PM

Originally Posted by Christopha

HUH?????????? :confused:_________

Oh dear,... I was implying that you were refering to me.

**Christopha** · 17th August 2004, 11:33 PM

Why am I suddenly getting heaps for a joke I posted over two months ago??? :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:

**Ben from Vic.** · 17th August 2004, 11:43 PM

You had it coming.

All that shameless behaviour (see reputation).

Eat red, dirtbag.

Ben.

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