A man appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates. "Have you
> ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.
> "Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered. "Once, on a
> trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of
> high-testosterone bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I
> directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I
> approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him
> on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw
> it on the ground." I yelled, "Now, back off biker boy or you'll answer
> to me!"
>
> St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?"
>
> "Just a couple minutes ago."