Water in the Glass

**Rodgera** · 21st April 2009, 08:47 PM

A well-known proverb states that an optimist would say a glass is
half full, while a pessimist would say it is half empty. What would
people of different professions and walks of life say?

The BANKER would say that the glass has just under 50% of its net
worth in liquid assets.

The GOVERNMENT would say that the glass is fuller than if the
opposition party were in power.

The OPPOSITION would say that it is irrelevant because the present
administration has changed the way such volume statistics are collected.

The ECONOMIST would say that, in real terms, the glass is 25% fuller
than at the same time last year.

The PHILOSOPHER would say that, if the glass was in the forest and no
one was there to see it, would it be half anything?

The PSYCHIATRIST would ask, "What did your mother say about the glass?"

The PHYSICIST would say that the volume of this cylinder is divided
into two equal parts; one a colorless, odorless liquid, the other a
colorless, odorless gas. Thus the cylinder is neither full nor empty.
Rather, each half of the cylinder is full, one with a gas, one with a liquid.

The SEASONED DRINKER would say that the glass doesn't have enough ice in it.

**Gingermick** · 22nd April 2009, 03:58 PM

Amd the engineer says, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be

**echnidna** · 22nd April 2009, 04:17 PM

The peasant says, give me the glass....

glug glug,

now theres nuthin left ter argue about

**ian** · 22nd April 2009, 07:06 PM

My ENGINEER would say, "The glass is the wrong size"
bigger and the fluid level indicates it's time for a refill
smaller and the fluid level indicates it's time for a drink

ian

**Skew ChiDAMN!!** · 22nd April 2009, 07:14 PM

An ALCOHOLIC would say "who spiked my meths?"

**glen boulton** · 22nd April 2009, 07:21 PM

i think it is a part of an elaborate conspiricy feed to the public by asio when the real agenda is possibly some sort of terrorism scheme to devise a method of transfer of exposive building compound to every form of inteligence in the sydney metro area. then once meetings have started to discuss the actual philosify of the contents, the jar develops a small fracture actuated by a remote phone call to shatter the glass therfore letting the liquid contents mix with the core of the "said glass" causing a massive explosion disrupting the chain of command by knocking out the inteligece leval of univercities every where.
just a thought

**Rodgera** · 22nd April 2009, 07:54 PM

Originally Posted by glen boulton

i think it is a part of an elaborate conspiricy feed to the public by asio when the real agenda is possibly some sort of terrorism scheme to devise a method of transfer of exposive building compound to every form of inteligence in the sydney metro area. then once meetings have started to discuss the actual philosify of the contents, the jar develops a small fracture actuated by a remote phone call to shatter the glass therfore letting the liquid contents mix with the core of the "said glass" causing a massive explosion disrupting the chain of command by knocking out the inteligece leval of univercities every where.
just a thought

Glen,Glen,Glen TOOOOOOOO much time on your hands.
You need to get a proper job!!!!!!

**Skew ChiDAMN!!** · 22nd April 2009, 08:03 PM

Now I know who replaced my half-glass of meths with water...

**Gingermick** · 22nd April 2009, 08:24 PM

Surely wouldn't knock out too much intelligence in NSW

**Ozkaban** · 22nd April 2009, 09:19 PM

Originally Posted by Gingermick

Amd the engineer says, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be

Originally Posted by ian

My ENGINEER would say, "The glass is the wrong size"
bigger and the fluid level indicates it's time for a refill
smaller and the fluid level indicates it's time for a drink

ian

I've always heard that the engineer says 'Lucky I kept half of my water in a redundant glass'...

Cheers,
Dave

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