Not tonight, honey...

**silentC** · 18th May 2005, 09:22 AM

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....

**Tankstand** · 18th May 2005, 12:49 PM

Oh my Goodness....... :eek:

Tell me you dreamt that!

If not, you've got more b**ls than most of us mere mortals

Good one!

(Then he realises this is in the Jokes section.....Derrr!)

**Glenmore** · 18th May 2005, 01:43 PM

I would guess that was a dream. Because you hear not tonight honey a lot after you are married. And you send her shopping by herself. Because I just don't want to know. Good one though.

**Caliban** · 18th May 2005, 02:36 PM

Originally Posted by Tankstand

Oh my Goodness....... :eek:

Tell me you dreamt that!

If not, you've got more b**ls than most of us mere mortals

No, that's his wife's department. Golf balls.

**Geoff Dean** · 18th May 2005, 03:14 PM

This deserves some greenies, but for the life of me I cannot figure out how to give them.

Help please

**silentC** · 18th May 2005, 03:50 PM

Geoff, please don't feel obliged, as I only passed on a joke someone else sent to me

However, for future reference, you can approve or disapprove of a post by clicking on the little silver scale icon (as in the scales of justice) on the left hand side of the screen, adjacent to the post you want to give feedback on. Then follow your nose

**Geoff Dean** · 19th May 2005, 08:27 AM

Thanks SilentC,

I now know how.

Gumby, please check the above line for typo's, I had a late night and then went to the midnight screening of Return of the Sith, and then had a six o'clock start this morning, don't think work will get much value out of me today.

**boban** · 19th May 2005, 08:07 PM

Tankstand I refuse to read any of your posts in protest..... Oh thats right I wasn't reading them anyway as my eyes would move from the left of the screen.

You're not the same man without your avatar....

**Geoff Dean** · 20th May 2005, 11:35 AM

Boban,

Many issues you have!
Resolve them, you must.

Powerful is The dark side of force.
Resist it you must.

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