Thanks Thanks:  0
Likes Likes:  0
Needs Pictures Needs Pictures:  0
Picture(s) thanks Picture(s) thanks:  0
Results 1 to 7 of 7
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2000
    Location
    Melbourne, Victoria
    Posts
    209

    Post this has nothing to do with wood but it's worth a read

    For those of you who have had experience with computers and their glitches and idiosyncrasies, and downright illogical workings, you'll appreciate the following:

    At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "if GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

    In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

    1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

    2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

    3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the car windows, shut it off, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this..

    4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

    5. Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought "CarNT," but then you would have to buy more seats.

    6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive-but would only run on five percent of the roads.

    7. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "General Protection Fault" warning light.

    8. New seats would force everyone to have the same sized butt.

    9. The airbag system would ask "are you SURE?" before deploying.

    10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

    11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of RandMcNally Road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the U.S. Justice Dept.

    12. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

    13. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

  2. # ADS
    Google Adsense Advertisement
    Join Date
    Always
    Location
    Advertising world
    Posts
    Many





     
  3. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
    Location
    Melbourne, VIC, Australia
    Posts
    120

    Talking

    And the other jokes do? That said, I found it pretty funny.
    Cogito cogito, cogito ergo sum
    - I think that I think, therefore I think that I am

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2000
    Location
    Drop Bear Capital of Gippsland (Lang Lang) Vic Australia
    Age
    74
    Posts
    6,518

    Post

    Just imagine a microsoft lathe! Wait on, there are routers out there already aren't there?
    Stupidity kills. Absolute stupidity kills absolutely.

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
    Location
    Melbourne, VIC, Australia
    Posts
    120

    Angry

    I'm tempted to take a router to my computer occasionally.
    Cogito cogito, cogito ergo sum
    - I think that I think, therefore I think that I am

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2000
    Location
    Drop Bear Capital of Gippsland (Lang Lang) Vic Australia
    Age
    74
    Posts
    6,518

    Lightbulb

    Ah Tristan, I have had the solution to this problem for some considerable time, I threaten to reprogramme it with an axe.
    Stupidity kills. Absolute stupidity kills absolutely.

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 1999
    Location
    Westleigh, Sydney
    Age
    77
    Posts
    9,549

    Wink

    ...the good old manual reset button!
    Visit my website
    Website
    Facebook

  8. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2000
    Location
    Melbourne, Victoria
    Posts
    209

    Post

    Good ol pen and paper

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •