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Thread: Burglar caught!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Melbourne
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    11,997

    Default Burglar caught!

    I have a shed on the side of the house with a roller door at each end. This is handy to carry stuff straight through to the back or to park the car in (when I am out of lumber). Last night, since I had been in and out of the shed all day, I'd only closed the yard side of the shed and was just leaving the front door when I heard a noise in the shed.

    I snuck around and peeked into the end of the shed and, in the gloom, saw the tail of Sally the shop dog happily wagging as she was tearing into a bag of MacDonalds she'd dragged from the bin.

    Since she knows this is a definite no-no, I thought I'd teach her a lesson and scare the bejeezus outta her. I snuck up on her as quietly as I could and, I must admit, did a great job of it. Trying to stop myself from laughing, I slowly reached to grab her in the ribs and yell out. Thankfully, the wind was blowing toward me and she didn't catch my scent.

    Anyway, she was buried deep in the McBag (it was over her head) and her shoulders were half under the shelf. Perfect, the silly mutt was gonna freak out.

    I grabbed her ribs and yelled "Bad Dog!", then started laughing - for about two seconds...

    What came out of the bag was not my dog! It was someone else's Labrador wearing a surprised look and lots of teeth. It had banged its head on the way out from under the shelf, then had backed between my legs, snapping and snarling - not good. Inside the house, my dog was now going nuts, further scaring the new dog. I fell ar*e up trying to get away from the teeth and paws of the mutt desperately trying to get away, which thankfully it did. Leaving me, totally shattered, in a heap in the shed.

    It took hours for the heart rate to go down.

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  3. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
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    Garvoc VIC AUSTRALIA
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    Default

    You should stop feeding the neighborhood strays.
    Regards, Bob Thomas

    www.wombatsawmill.com

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 1999
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    Brisbane, Qld.
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    Default

    argh, I needed a good laugh today...thanks!

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    Wallan, VIC, Australia
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    59
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    377

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Groggy
    Thinking of giving up? I gave up smoking 3Y 8M 2W 5D 48m 20s ago and have saved $8,485.63 from 33,941 cigarettes not going up in smoke,

    To date 16W 5D 20h 25m of my life has been recovered.

    The money saved was put aside and bought a TS, BS, Jointer, thicknesser, dust collector, timber and goodies from LV and LN (plus a bunch of items for the family).

    I hope someone gets some incentive from this.
    What, you didn't buy anything from U-Beaut? Shame Shame Shame
    Ray

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Paignton. Devon. U.K.
    Posts
    6,062

    Default

    In this day and age you could possibly be charged with assault if it had been an human burgler, dunno about what the dog owner might consider
    woody U.K.

    "Common looking people are the best in the world: that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them." ~ Abraham Lincoln

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Brisbane - South
    Posts
    2,395

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Groggy
    I have a shed on the side of the house with a roller door at each end. This is handy to carry stuff straight through to the back or to park the car in (when I am out of lumber). Last night, since I had been in and out of the shed all day, I'd only closed the yard side of the shed and was just leaving the front door when I heard a noise in the shed.

    I snuck around and peeked into the end of the shed and, in the gloom, saw the tail of Sally the shop dog happily wagging as she was tearing into a bag of MacDonalds she'd dragged from the bin.

    Since she knows this is a definite no-no, I thought I'd teach her a lesson and scare the bejeezus outta her. I snuck up on her as quietly as I could and, I must admit, did a great job of it. Trying to stop myself from laughing, I slowly reached to grab her in the ribs and yell out. Thankfully, the wind was blowing toward me and she didn't catch my scent.

    Anyway, she was buried deep in the McBag (it was over her head) and her shoulders were half under the shelf. Perfect, the silly mutt was gonna freak out.

    I grabbed her ribs and yelled "Bad Dog!", then started laughing - for about two seconds...

    What came out of the bag was not my dog! It was someone else's Labrador wearing a surprised look and lots of teeth. It had banged its head on the way out from under the shelf, then had backed between my legs, snapping and snarling - not good. Inside the house, my dog was now going nuts, further scaring the new dog. I fell ar*e up trying to get away from the teeth and paws of the mutt desperately trying to get away, which thankfully it did. Leaving me, totally shattered, in a heap in the shed.

    It took hours for the heart rate to go down.
    SWMBO came in to see what I was laughing so hard at! Even she thought it was hilarious!
    Cheers

    Major Panic

  8. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    East Bentleigh, Melbourne, Vic
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    Default

    Groggy,

    Love it!

    Cheers!

  9. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    3,096

    Default

    Ha Ha

    Bet you were a mite anxious about that dog getting a mouthful as it went out between your legs.

    Thanks, I needed a giggle.

  10. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2000
    Location
    Drop Bear Capital of Gippsland (Lang Lang) Vic Australia
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    6,518

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Groggy
    Thankfully, the wind was blowing toward me and she didn't catch my scent.
    Had it have been my dog (also Sally) you certainly would have got hers
    Stupidity kills. Absolute stupidity kills absolutely.

  11. #10
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Pretty Sally Hill, Wallan Vic
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    1,723

    Default

    Good one Groggy about the doggy.

    It brought a smile to my dial and a grin on my chin.

    Allan

    _____________________________________

    I am not at all worried about dying
    ... but just hope I am not there at the time.

  12. #11
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    Perth - SOR
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    482

    Default

    Brightened up my day too.

    It sounds like one for me to remember for when the boys are down the shed having a few beers - you could become famous.

    Denn

  13. #12
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
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    Taylors Lakes
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    108

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    So does this mean that Mc is not good for you're health?
    Geoff
    "You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely." - Ogden Nash

  14. #13
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Werribee, Vic
    Age
    66
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    2,528

    Default

    Bet Sally gave you the "You have been with another dog" sniff?

    Pity you don't have it on video, would have been a classic.

  15. #14
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Wide Bay Qld.
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    81
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    Default

    There was one like that on the forum a few years ago one of those you think about constantly and have a good laugh, it made me look like a complete idiot as I drive a school bus and I'd be driving along and all of a sudden start laughing, those kids didn't know weather to get off the bus at the next stop or grab me tie me up and call the authorities, finally i printed a couple of copies and sent the round the bus and that got me off the hook.

  16. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Barboursville, Virginia USA
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    2,364

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Munga View Post
    There was one like that on the forum a few years ago
    And I think this was it. Stray dog's no doubt dead or moved by now.
    Cheers,

    Bob



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