The Great Invention:

**RETIRED** · 11th March 2001, 09:04 PM

,
You think you could put this in the 'A Woodies Yarn' for me? see if we can
get it starting again...

Thanks
Brett
Done and I hope that we some imaginitive and clean responses.

The story is set out in the small town Woodust, located in the northwestern
part of New South Wales. Apart from all the dust and flies there isnt much
in the town, there's the old woodmill run by Fred Nerk, the general store
run by Lucy Lastic and the local pub run by Joe Bloggs.

It was a hot Friday afternoon and Fred was sitting in the shade outside the
woodmill having a quiet beer. Old Fred had just turned a few bar stools to
replace the ones broken by them visiting bikers the previous weekend. Now
Fred had lived in Woodust all his life and he got to thinking it was about
time someone put the place on the map so's they could start attracting some
better quality tourists.

After a bit of thinking Fred reckoned he should invent the greatest
invention every made, that should get people flocking out there then. But
what to invent? Fred began looking around the old mill when.....

[This message has been edited by (edited 11 March 2001).]

**ubeaut** · 15th March 2001, 12:10 PM

Suddenly it hit him. A lump of timber had falen from the roof of the mill and landed right on top of his head.

"STREWTH!!!" he yelled as his knees buckled and he hit the deck with a resounding crash. A sudden urge to sleep washed over him. Goodnight, sleep tight.

Two hours later he sheepishly stirred from his unrequested rest. He gingerly rose, to his feet, and dusted off the sawdust and shavings from his clothing.

"Ouch!!" he said as he felt the lump on his noggin. "What this town needs is a ......."

**tonks** · 17th March 2001, 04:07 AM

"Excuse me Sir I'm looking for Fred Nurks, are you, he?"

With a bellow of surprise Fred turned around and standing at the doorway was an exotic looking lady who was short, to say the least.

Around her waist she wore a strange looking belt that contained at least 20 different turning chisels. Most barely clearing the ground as she stood there with a quizzical look on her face.

"And who would like to know" demanded Fred, trying to ignore the stars that were floating past his eyes.

"I am Zander" came the reply.

**Island Ape** · 12th May 2001, 12:33 AM

"Not Zander the inventor of the vertical lathe" said Fred.
"No" she said
"Oh Bugger!" exclaimed Fred.

**Neil** · 12th May 2001, 08:29 AM

"Nah. I'm Zander Neander the overlander, New Zealander an' me an' me mate Amanda wanna 'ave a gander at your left hander, veranda ......."

"STOP!!!" yelled Fred. "Stone the crows woman, your makin' me head spin."

"Post lathe." added Zander.

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