Thread: So what's all this about, then?

Fgurgle, the alien whore famous for her arangement of bodily parts, and a particular favorite at bucks parties, frowned as she intercepted the strange earth transmition of her mobile communication ear implant. She understood peeking, slinking and places of comfort, but the rest was new to her, and this was very rare.
Determined to find out what these strange acts of 'wood' and 'machinery' entailed she descided to contact th earthling.
"Andy is that you honey .......

But it turned out it wasn't Andy but Ozwinner whose alien thought protector helmet had malfunctioned and instead of protecting him from aliens had actually chanelled Fgurgle right into his .....

... Lycra bicycle shorts. Although Al found the sensation of an alien voice emanating from his nether regions disconcerting, he was not as surprised as you might think. This was because he ...

is used to being told what to do by the occupant of said nether regions.
He simply offered to sell his...

finger skin to use as anti-skid on the decks of ......

the Good Ship Venus, whose captains name was....
(Midge, thanks for following Hovo, I couldnt trust myself to follow "sell his..."
Kind regards
Termite

Penis. Yes thats right the captains name was Penis, god how he'd suffered at school!

Willy, todger, tackle, pindick, yes he'd had all those nicknames and more. in fact he had quite a complex about it. If he so much as heard the word Dick he would hand draw and quarter the offending sailor.

The WHore alien really wanted to meet a human called Penis as it excited her...

... mother no end to think that her daughter might one day settle down and meet a nice man with a big ...

...tool. His use of the tool was well known to all who sailed the seven seas and the inn keepers in many a port as his preference was for...

middle aged balding men, with a gut just protruding over their belt. It was well known in their circles these men had a talent for.....

farnarkling, but it was an ancient skill, one that took years of sacrifice, self examination and........

...yoga. The whore was intrigued by the Whore In Bed that adorned the bow of his ship and asked why, if he was little light on his feet, this was his figurehead? He answered...

"donuts" let alone "donut punchers" dont look good as a figurehead Captain Penis replied. After all he had a reputation to uphold as a dandy of style in this here neck of the ocean. Penis did once upon a time have a figure head on another ship of seamen that featured the prominent part of a ...

...walking stick, but alas the alien had never seen one of those before and so mistakenly thought it was a ...