Thread: Where do pencils go?

All the missing pencils end up in polling booths at election time so that you can write the digits 1 - 310 on the Senate ballot paper. It is a well known fact that electoral officers spend the 6 months prior to an election raiding workshops to steal pencils.
The answer is ---- steal them back at the next election. Enrolling as an elector in all 6 States and both Territories ensures that you will have 9 opportunities, at least, in every 4 year period to replenish your supply.
As to missing socks --- if you always buy the same brand and colour then you won't notice.

and your own jet to get around to all the states

Its not only pencils, its anything I'm trying to use. The more recently I used it the less chance of finding it. Thats why its handy that body parts are permanently attached.

My theory of missing parts (pencils, screws, nuts misc. items).
They are taken into another dimension by interdensional gremlins. These gremlins hang about just waiting for someone to drop a screw or other vital small part and then whip it into their demension to use for what ever nefarious purpose.
When they are finished with they will usually return it ti its original place of drop. This however can take any length of time since, as Einstein said tiem is relative. So they may have had said part for eons but return it in seconds in our time.
How many times have you dropped a part, heard/saw it fall, watched it come to rest on the floor then turned away for a second to put down whatever you were doing, go to retrieve the missing part, never to see it again. Or you will search in all directions because you "know" it fell there but cant find it.
Only for said part to turn up after you have given up looking and gone to get a replacement.
Thats the gremlins for you. Beware of them.

Nah the pencils are coated in chameleon paint so that they blend in with whatever you place them on (and then have to buy more, a plot by the pencil makers ) this is why when you have bought another pencil the original one feels safe stops trying to blend in, you look down and there on the bench in plane view is that pencil that wasn't there 5 minutes ago.

Originally Posted by pedro the swift

My theory of missing parts (pencils, screws, nuts misc. items).
They are taken into another dimension by interdensional gremlins. These gremlins hang about just waiting for someone to drop a screw or other vital small part and then whip it into their demension to use for what ever nefarious purpose.
When they are finished with they will usually return it ti its original place of drop. This however can take any length of time since, as Einstein said tiem is relative. So they may have had said part for eons but return it in seconds in our time.
How many times have you dropped a part, heard/saw it fall, watched it come to rest on the floor then turned away for a second to put down whatever you were doing, go to retrieve the missing part, never to see it again. Or you will search in all directions because you "know" it fell there but cant find it.
Only for said part to turn up after you have given up looking and gone to get a replacement.
Thats the gremlins for you. Beware of them.

This thread was started 3 years ago, please do not bring up threads from this old, it messes up the forums, stick with threads within the past month,

Joash

There's only one thing worse than losing pencils: being the type of person who doesn't.

I'm a proud pencil, wallet, sunglasses and keys loser, come to think of it, I'm an all round loser. But I'd rather be a loser than one of those pedantic, retentive, slow, over-fussy dodderers who never lose anything. You know the ones, when you bump your head on some low overhang or something, they knowingly say: "You should have ducked".

Like Principal Skinner on the Simpsons. He'd never lose a pencil.

I'd say Joash doesn't lose pencils either.

Otherwise he'd understand that this is the sort of thread that is timeless... and just as relevant today as 'twas three or a hundred years ago. Hell, it'll still be relevant a century or two from now, so long as you substitute "digital laser stylus" or "pointy stick" for the word "pencil." (Depending on which way you believe the future is heading. )

Havn't you heard of the Borrowers, a family of tiny people, just a few inches high, who live under the floorboards, they exist by "borrowing" scraps and oddments from the house above. I reckon that they are responsible for most of the things that we cant find, or that are misplaced.

Originally Posted by Skew ChiDAMN!!

I'd say Joash doesn't lose pencils either.

Otherwise he'd understand that this is the sort of thread that is timeless... and just as relevant today as 'twas three or a hundred years ago. Hell, it'll still be relevant a century or two from now, so long as you substitute "digital laser stylus" or "pointy stick" for the word "pencil." (Depending on which way you believe the future is heading. )

Glad I went and washed the car and had a beer , you said it much better that I would have. :eek:

Since this thread has been pulled through the transdimensional time and space inhibitors I will add the definitive word on the subject.. A lot of the comments on this thread have been accurate to a point and some have just been totally absurd..the mere thought that they have been placed in an area that you did not investigate thoroughly enough (Iain, July 2003) is a blatant and preposterous argument to say the least and the idea they have suffered the fate of being used as a paint stirrer (Ashore, Oct 2006) or similar then disposed of is plainly ludicrous ..

The one thing no one on this thread has talked about is the fact that pencils are a living entity.. most people choose to ignore this as no one really wishes to acknowledge that they are responible for the enslavement of intelligent life forms, even those organisations that ostensibly claim to protect these creatures such as the R.S.P.C.A, W,W,F and others choose to ignore the plight of what is arguably the most intelligent form of life known to man.. the fact that they are smarter than us may be the cause of this..

Tell me where you think pencils come from.... I assume you will be telling me that they are made from dead trees and strange forms of carbon.. How deluded you are and yet you know not..

Pencils can be found in the wild in most areas of the world. Why haven't you seen them. It is predominantly due to our predatory ways they are now so afraid of humans they have become adept at hiding from us.

Pencils are captured (although large stationary corporations have had secret captive breeding programs operating since the 1600's so no longer harvest from the wild). The pencils are captured at a time of metamorphosis when their outer shell hardens. At this point they are immersed in chemicals that slow down the process of change. They then suffer the indignity of being embossed with company logos and other markings then sold.

Some pencils have developed a resistance to this chemical compound whilst others are left lying about for too long and so are able to continue with their process of change... at some stage during this natural process they slip into a different dimension or parallel world to continue their lives unhindered by Humans. It is my theory however some feel the need to chastise us for what they view as the horrendous attacks on their kith and kin. Endless sharpening leave a number quite stunted not to mention those who are broken and tossed aside. It is these conscientious pencils that continue to seek retribution for the suffering of their fellows. some work to restore those newer ones to health before they can be abused while others distract us as per the gremlin & borrower myth's. At times they have become quite vicious, there was a species that lived underground who when defending their territory became known as The Tommy Knockers.

I have discovered some unique isotopic signatures in individual pencils which has allowed me to track certain pencils and can show not only the moments they blink out of our realm and also when they blink back. It is around these latter events that I have discovered the absence of other items in the vicinity.

So it is clearly not merely some conglomeration of chance scientific happenings that pencils disappear but a clearly defined natural process that is hindered by humans. There are some who have been trying to find out the mechanism of transfer to this other dimension and as indicated some believe socks have something to do with it. It is my theory though as of yet unproved that it is the pencils that are responsible for the lost socks not the other way around as proposed by my fellow researchers.

His Self Appointed excellency Penne Sille.
Founder of the pencil rights and liberation movement

Originally Posted by thetassiebfg

The one thing no one on this thread has talked about is the fact that pencils are a living

Then they may well have mated with a chameleon in the wild more food for thought , how else can they dissapear and then re appear in the same spot .....Hummmm

Did you look in your socks?

Missing pencils? Easy. Stolen and disintegrated by the same gremlins who tie thumb knots in hoses and electrical cords. How do you tie a thumb knot in a hose without passing an end through the loop? Impossible for humans but can be done.

Carry Pine