Thread: Tools explained

Vernier calliper: a precision adjustable spanner

Digital calliper: a technologically superior precision adjustable spanner

Adjustable spanner: a multi-tasking device capable of rounding over nuts whilst simultaneously remove excess skin from the knuckles

Philips screwdriver: pointy object designed to chew out mis-identified pozidrive screw heads

Pozidrive screwdriver: pointy object usually either gathering dust somewhere or used to punch through oil filters. Often eagerly sought out after finally correctly identifying pozidrive screw heads, only to find that being used as a punch, pry bar and paint stirrer has left it unable to remove any screws, let alone ones that have already been chewed out by a philips screwdriver.

Cordless drill: When fitted with either a philips or pozidrive tip this tool will ensure that all screw heads, whatever they were originally, have now become security screws that will resist any attempt at removal.

I forgot the Dremel. The tool of choice when you need to do your mistakes in a hurry.

Cheers
Michael

If at first you don't succeed, hide all evidence that you tried

Ah-hah !! HaroldS, I see you are familiar with the 230mm angle grinder !!

Jigsaw
Effortlessly cuts on the wrong side of any marked line.
Also used to create a fancy scroll-work edge on any meticulously squared &
finished bench-top. Especially if that bench-top happens to be in the kitchen
or wet bar.

Random Orbital Sander
Primarily functions as a pre-theft finger-printing system by coating all interior
& exterior workshop surfaces with a fine patina of dust.
May also be used to indelibly inscribe intricate artistic whorls in bright finished timbers.
Some have suggested that the ROS has application as a washing machine
efficiency tester, however there is still debate over whether it is best used as
a pre-wash or post-wash test system.

Electric Planer
Portable tool used to locate nails in second-hand timber when a sharp chisel simply isn't fast enough.
Favoured by tradies & professionals because time is money.
(see "Thicknesser")

Thicknesser
High-speed nail locator for wide boards. This large, machine is only suitable as a fixed installation
in a work-shop or industrial environment. For portable applications, see "Chisels" and "Electric Planer".

Chainsaw
General purpose tool of last resort...
Has a variety uses ranging from carving precisely curved ends in lengths of firewood to plastic surgery.
Tool of choice for locating small stones and grit in hardwood sleepers.
Despite its extreme versatility, or perhaps because of it, this is not a tool recommended for novices.
.

I really liked the plumb bob

For the modern age:

: Source of answers and solutions for any problem, including the ones you didn't know you had until you visited Google. Responsible for many men now having the time to really get into their hobbies - once the alimony has been paid. It's amazing how a search for "Fetch a broad beam" can lead you off to the Star Trek Online Crafting Guide let alone what some of those girls can do in some of the other links

Hammer Drill

Device for locating water pipes or electrical conduits in masonry walls.

Arc welder and mask. Electrically energised device (welder) for joining metal (weldee) and safety shield to protect eyesight. Often work together conspiratorially to allow the full impact of the flash to cover the entire unprotected surface of the eyes.
Also known to act as an elaborate electric fence to a mate who has just come around for a mag. Bulk shaking followed by a short burst of profanities and then laughter accompanies this.

Cold chisel. Heavy metallic prong used to dislodge metal. Top is usually rounded from repeated striking with a hammer causing many blows to rain down on the first, second and thumb knuckles of the hand. Also deadly accurate in finding the soft fleshy part of the human foot.

Plans: Diligently prepared by a skilled craftsman and engineer so the builder can ignore, alter and other wise butcher as desired.

Plank Holder
Mate at the other end of the plank often objects to being called a tool.

Originally Posted by PAR

Plans: Diligently prepared by a skilled craftsman and engineer so the builder can ignore, alter and other wise butcher as desired.

And there I was thinking that plans are merely someone else's idea of what -my- boat should look like...

Plans:

Tool for promoting public humility.
When things don't work out, builders assume it is their own mistake.

Plans:
Visual recognition of the poor choice you made, compared to what else is available . . .

Originally Posted by PAR

Plans:
Visual recognition of the poor choice you made, compared to what else is available . . .

Take a deep breath mate ... in - out - in - out ... Now smile, that's it!