The Female Version of the "The Code of Practice"

**Driver** · 27th June 2006, 11:47 AM

Just a suggestion, Wendy (and I admit I have shamelessly lifted this directly from The Code of Practice and just made appropriate Sheila-like amendments)

9. Shed Attire for Shed Girl

[INDENT]9.1. Colour. Colours and varying combinations thereof are entirely at Shed Girl’s choosing. The following guidelines are provided to help Shed Girl make appropriate choices

9.1.1. It is recommended that the base colour of a given garment shall not vary from its original colour by more than 0.5 degrees of colour temperature or be less than one shade lighter – measured with the aid of a Pantone colour swatch.

9.1.2. Randomly-placed highlights of different shades of paint, glue, varnish, oil, grease, food and drink ingredients etc, will be considered to constitute a Code violation if they are not hit with every proprietary brand of stain remover within 3 (three) minutes of initial contact with Shed Girl’s attire.

9.1.2.1. Alternatively, and as a substitute for proprietary stain removers, Shed Girl can elect to use a potion handed down through the female line of the last seven generations of her family, or
9.1.2.2. A mixture of organic herbs, Guava jelly, wholemeal biscuit crumbs and the essential oils of 9 different sub-species of Andalusian juniper berries (this mixture may not remove the stain but it will make Shed Girl feel better about the environment).

9.1.3. Footy club colours are not acceptable unless Shed Girl can demonstrate precise knowledge of her selected team’s position on the current league ladder and details of the score from their most recent match. Failure to observe this provision shall not constitute a Code violation but it might lead to Shed Girl being subjected to blokely derision from blokes within her circle.

9.1.4. Pink. Pink is not recommended as a base colour for any garment because it is too easily confused with the type of faded red worn by blokes in sheds.

9.1.5. Shed Girl shall commit a Code violation if she does not wear at least one garment in a colour that bears the same name as a variety of fruit.

Toodle Pip!

Col

**RufflyRustic** · 27th June 2006, 12:37 PM

Hmmm............. why does KISS suddenly come to mind ....

Shed Girl's Code of Practice:
Shed Girl can do whatever she wants, when she wants, how she wants, and why she wants, wearing whatever she wants, using whatever she likes, however she likes, just like she does in the house.

TaaaDaaaaa!!!!

**Cliff Rogers** · 27th June 2006, 01:03 PM

Perfect.... so long as you have made a list & stuck it on the fridge or near the phone or in a (now disused) handbag.

Said list will be ignored, forgotten, &/or lost for about 3 weeks & then binned due to it being out of date & a new one has been started somewhere else after 3 minutes of looking for the old one.

Maybe 3 minutes is a bit long....

...you better make that 3 seconds.

**Wongo** · 27th June 2006, 02:22 PM

It is all about location location location. The shed should be close to the kitchen and the washing lines.

**Termite** · 27th June 2006, 02:37 PM

Originally Posted by Wongo

It is all about location location location. The shed should be close to the kitchen and the washing lines.

To steal from "The Life of Brian", Wongo you have Biggus Ballsus to make a statement like that.

**echnidna** · 27th June 2006, 03:44 PM

Typical women,

say a few well chosen words,

and the blokes are all over the place.

Score:

Ladies 1

Men 0

**Zed** · 27th June 2006, 04:24 PM

lets not be sexist gents, Ruffy wants a CoP for the girls. lets oblige her with real feedback.

cheers

**Wongo** · 27th June 2006, 04:26 PM

You've changed Zed.

**RufflyRustic** · 27th June 2006, 04:31 PM

Originally Posted by Wongo

It is all about location location location. The shed should be close to the kitchen and the washing lines.

Perfect for grabbing that coffee or snack, some baking paper to do some glueing and for hanging up items that have just had their finish applied and need to dry without anything touching them

Ladies 2
Gents 0

**Driver** · 27th June 2006, 04:53 PM

Originally Posted by rufflyrustic

Perfect for grabbing that coffee or snack, some baking paper to do some glueing and for hanging up items that have just had their finish applied and need to dry without anything touching them

Ladies 2
Gents 0

Er, Wendy. Not disputing the score, you understand but that should be

Ladies 2
Blokes 0

In connection with these forums (and in accordance with a sub-section about to be added to the Code of Practice) Gents is a term only to be used in the vocative case, as in

"Gents! Please use The Gents. Thanks, Gents"

and not in the nominative case.

Col

**Wongo** · 27th June 2006, 04:55 PM

Good one driver

Ladies 2
Blokes 1 (og)

**RufflyRustic** · 27th June 2006, 05:14 PM

Originally Posted by Cliff Rogers

Perfect.... so long as you have made a list & stuck it on the fridge or near the phone or in a (now disused) handbag.

Said list will be ignored, forgotten, &/or lost for about 3 weeks & then binned due to it being out of date & a new one has been started somewhere else after 3 minutes of looking for the old one.

Maybe 3 minutes is a bit long....

...you better make that 3 seconds.

Geez Cliff, you are scaring me, how'd you know all that:confused: where's my foiley hat gone......

**RufflyRustic** · 27th June 2006, 05:15 PM

Drat - you got me Driver and Wongo! Foiled again!!!

**Zed** · 27th June 2006, 05:53 PM

Originally Posted by Wongo

You've changed Zed.

no, im still the same old politically incorrect bloke I aways was. I just dont type it any more.... ah.... i miss the good old days...

**ozwinner** · 27th June 2006, 08:06 PM

Originally Posted by Wongo

You've changed Zed.

Yeah Zed, chill out, your even starting to freak me out with all your goodie two shoes act. :eek:

Just be yourself.

You were chosen for who you are, not for who you may be..

Al

Thread: The Female Version of the "The Code of Practice"

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