Dude.............

**numbat** · 28th June 2005, 12:42 PM

Is this what you mean Termite?

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Crème Donuts. And Satan said "You want chocolate with
that?" and Man said "Yes!" and Woman said "and while you're at it add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the
wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Cake" and said "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food".

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its $3.00 double cheeseburger. Then said "You want fries with that?" and Man replied "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said "it is good."

And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. Then Satan created the Medicare.

Thought for the day ...........

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040 there should be
a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them. If you don't send
this to five old friends right away there will be five fewer people laughing in the world!!!!

**silentC** · 28th June 2005, 12:52 PM

Exactly what is 'chicken-fried' steak? Steak fried by a chicken? Those Americans have some strange things...

**oges** · 28th June 2005, 06:11 PM

we have odd names for food too .. in Coles the other day saw some Kangaroo sausages called 'roo bangers'.

Well I was in nappies living in NT (Nhulunbuy) in 1975 .... no im not still wearing them

I have a picture of me at home that looks like I have a a pilcher (s?) on my head, my mother still insists it was a hat..

**hilltopper34w** · 29th June 2005, 01:54 AM

you don't look anything like your avatar.
I assume you posted the pic to brag on your SWMBO!
Spence

**Wood Borer** · 29th June 2005, 03:00 PM

I thought this was suitable.

**Gumby** · 29th June 2005, 03:11 PM

Originally Posted by Wood Borer

I thought this was suitable.

Wouldn't work. Even his DNA is surgically enhanced

**ozwinner** · 29th June 2005, 06:03 PM

Originally Posted by Wood Borer

I thought this was suitable.

Good one Rob, I love it.......

Al

**Caliban** · 4th July 2005, 11:15 PM

Al
No sign of foil in that piccy

**Caliban** · 4th July 2005, 11:18 PM

Numbat's mention of the devil made me remember this one.
George Bush has a heart attack and dies.
>
> He goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him "I don't
>know what to do here," says the devil. You are on my list but I have
>no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you
>what I'm going to do.
>
> I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you.
>I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll
>even let YOU decide who leaves. George thought that sounded pretty
>good, so he agreed.
>
> The devil opened the first room: in it was Richard Nixon and
>a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty-handed
>over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell. "No!" George
>said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and don't think I
>could do that all day long."
>
> The devil led him to the next room: in it was Tony Blair with
>a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that
>hammer, time after time after time. "No, I've got this problem with
>my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was
>break rocks all day!"
>
> The devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill
>Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and
>his legs staked in a spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica
>Lewinsky, doing what she does best. George Bush looked at this in
>disbelief for a while and finally said "Yeah, I can handle this."
>
> The devil smiled and said.........
>
>
>
> Ok Monica, you're free to go"

**Wild Dingo** · 14th October 2005, 11:52 PM

Sorta look similar to me back then... only you got shorter hair than I had... by the time I married the wee missus in 82 my hair had reached my bum and was worn more often than not free... and was informed there would be no bloody wedding at all if the locks didnt go... sigh... long curly as buggary and with my goatee and tan from the Kimberlies I looked very sheik... and in my then passport photo I look like a flamin afgani camel driver!!... though back in the 70s I looked like a shorter and darker version of that git with the high squeeking voice from the Bee Gees!! But then I also wore those hand stitched knee high 8in platform shoes... well except when I was surfin then I wore my 6in ones

To the day she died mum had this insane photo of me on her living room dresser blown up and framed of me on her wedding day (second wedding) WHITE and I mean pure WHITE tailor made flaired pants and double breasted suit blue silk shirt green did I say GREEN?? yep green high platform boots and an insane psychadelic tie... and me long LONG locks!!... and the eyes told the story... very not there man

very good hooch back then by crikey

aaahh the seventies what a time to be young footloose and free eh?

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